An Arts and Crafts Project You Won’t Want To Throw Away
There are so many products out there that are marketed as “Pocket Pussies.”
From the famed Fleshlight to the lesser known fake asses by Cyberskin, these could cost you a pretty penny.
Don’t you worry.
Times are hard and even though you don’t even have the 20 bucks to spare, there are things that are probably lying around in your house that you could use to fashion your very own fake pussy.
Guys have always been known to let their creativity fly when it comes to masturbation.
We take it very seriously, after all.
Why even make a pocket pussy?
Obviously, in order to enhance the masturbation experience, you want something that simulates how the real thing feels.
And you want this thing to be portable and easy to hide because you wouldn’t want your kinks on display for your mom or your girlfriend to see.
Overall, it just makes for a more enjoyable time than just using your hand to jack off.
I don’t know if it’s just my age or I do it way too often, but I’ve since lost my liking for masturbating the old fashioned way.
I guess once you’ve experienced something better, it’s hard to justify why you ever want to go back to the most natural way of doing it.
That being said, sometimes a pocket pussy could be a wildly different experience from fucking an actual vagina.
You could experiment with different textures and levels of suction that no pussy, mouth or ass could ever replicate.
This is not say that this is always going to be better than having sex with a person.
That reaches levels that you can’t achieve on your own.
Nothing will ever replace the connection and the intimacy you can have with your partner.
But as far going solo goes, it’s very possible to up your game and break up with your hand once and for all (because, honestly, it’s getting a little weird).
You can find out what texture works best for you.
I also think that it’s important to note that having a pocket pussy has other benefits besides the pleasure that you get from it.
Improve Your Stamina
The most practical one has got to be that it can improve your stamina.
Since it feels exponentially better than just using your hand, it can be very challenging to some guys who don’t last long in bed.
I don’t know about you, but I consider it a failure if my girl isn’t fully satisfied after we fool around.
It breaks my heart little, seeing that look of disappointment on her face when I just blew a few pumps a little too soon.
This is a great remedy for that.
With a pocket pussy, you can settle down, relax, and take your time.
Like Going To The Gym, But For Your Cock
The concept is very similar to working out.
The more you exercise a muscle, the more sets of reps you can do.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out.
Just keep going at it until you feel like you’re going to cum, hold off on it, take a break for a few moments, and keep going.
This is why using a pocket pussy isn’t exactly the most self-serving thing you can do.
You can tell your girlfriend that if she ever sees it on your bed side table.
I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be ticked off for that reason.
She might even thank you for it.
If you don’t have anyone special in your life just yet, having a couple of pocket pussies can help enhance your fantasies.
Fancy having an imaginary ménage à trois? Make three pocket pussies.
Honestly, this just adds another dimension to your whole masturbation experience.
Bring Your Fantasies To Life
Are you into POV porn? This is a way to step that up.
I don’t know about you, but I personally find that it takes away from the fantasy when I just use my hand.
It’s helpful to have a hands-free experience, and we’ll get to that later in this list.
If you do have a partner, this is just another one those things you can bring into the bedroom.
Sex toys aren’t just made for solo play, you can also incorporate them into your sex life.
Another orifice can’t hurt or you maybe you guys just want to play around without having vaginal or anal sex.
Whatever the reason may be, this is the perfect tool to use when things are getting a little stale under the sheets.
Hold your horses.
Before we get into making you a pocket pussy (or a couple), we have to get prep out of the way.
Naturally, your pocket pussy will not be able to get wet just like a real vagina would.
I can’t stress this enough. You need to use some kind of lubrication.
First of all, it makes the whole experience feel good. That’s the obvious bit.
But not only will this easily let you slip your junk in and out of your pocket pussy, it will make a world of difference when it comes to safety.
By using lube, you don’t have to worry about the effects of too much friction.
The skin of your penis is very delicate.
You don’t want to get any scrapes or cuts down there.
That’s the easiest way to get an infection, burns and rashes.
Warm it up
If you’re going for something more on the realistic side, then it’s best to heat things up.
Thrusting yourself into something cold and slimy is going to be weird. No one’s going to enjoy feeling like that.
There are many ways you can warm up your pocket pussies, and here they are.
- You might not even have to warm up the thing itself, you could just use a warming lube.
- Wrap it in an electric warming blanket.
- Wrap it in a towel that has been soaked in hot water or if water won’t compromise the build of your pocket pussy (it doesn’t have tape or glue), take it to your tub with you as you enjoy a warm bath.
- You can microwave your pocket pussy, but make sure you follow the simple microwave rules. No metals and nothing very wet. How the microwave works is that it heats up liquid molecules. That’s why microwaving something very dry, like a chip, won’t heat it up as much as something more dense.
- Leave it beside a window where it get direct sunlight, right next to your boiler or on top a heater.
Now that’s out of the way, let’s get into some ways you can construct your own pocket pussy and start having some fun.
This is old school.
Guys have been sticking it into fruits and vegetables for centuries, even cooked food, for that matter.
Remember that classic scene from American Pie?
Well, this is a very simple option and it doesn’t take much materials at all.
Stuff you need:
1. A long vegetable that your penis will fit into like a zucchini, eggplant or cucumber. Anything will do as long as it’s straight.
2. A condom
3. A couple of rubber bands
4. A roll of duct tape
5. A sharp knife
Right. Got everything you need?
First, cut the end of your vegetable.
This is where you’re going to insert your penis.
Next, cut it in half, lengthwise.
Remove the seeds.
You’re essentially making a case for your penis.
Don’t forget to leave some flesh so it’s not all skin.
You don’t want the vegetable to lose its sturdiness.
Now, wear your condom and put your penis on one of the halves of the vegetable.
Make sure it fits snugly in there.
Make some adjustments if needed.
If you’re happy with the fit, close her on up and put the other half on top.
Your penis should be enclosed by both sides now.
Next, use the rubber bands to create some tension.
When it’s tight enough to your liking, set it by wrapping the whole thing in duct tape.
Slide yourself out, making sure that you’re holding the rim of the condom so you won’t lose it inside.
Fold it over the opening and fasten it with more tape or rubber bands.
Then you’re good to go.
Pour some lube in there and slide your penis in.
Shiver me Pringles
This is my favorite and you’ll like this one if you’re on the longer side.
And if you ask me, this takes recycling to a whole other level.
You’ll never look at a can of Pringles the same way again.
Stuff you need:
1. An empty tube of Pringles
2. Two sponges (the kind that doesn’t have the scouring pad)
3. A roll of duct tape
4. A medium to large latex glove
5. A sharp knife
First, take off the lid.
Easy as pie.
Next, put one sponge on flat surface, place the glove on top of that, and put the other sponge on top.
You should have a glove sandwich by now.
After that, pull the opening where you hand is supposed to go so that it hangs off in between the sponges.
Shove the whole thing inside the Pringles tube.
Make sure that are no gaps and the sponges fill the whole opening out.
Next, take the cuff of the glove and spread it apart.
Carefully pull it back over the opening of the Pringles tube.
You want to make sure that everything is covered at this point.
You won’t be able to see the sponge anymore if you’ve done it correctly.
All you’ll see is a tight slit where the two sponges meet.
For some weight, you can fill the can with some rice or beans before you do all this.
That is if you want something with a little heft to it.
The Towel Method
This is perfect if you’re new to this and you don’t have a ton of materials available or the time to spare.
Stuff you need:
1. A hand towel
2. A medium to large latex glove
3. A belt or rubber bands
Pretty simple, right?
The first thing you need to do is fold the towel two times.
Rest the glove on top of the towel with the opening hanging off to the side.
This is important.
You don’t want to lose the cuff in there.
Now, roll it around the glove very carefully.
Make sure it’s nice and tight, so it will feel like you’re actually fucking something when it’s done.
When you’ve got the tightness that you want down, fasten it with a belt or some rubber bands to keep it from unfolding.
Add more rubber bands if you want it to be even tighter.
Peel back the cuff of the glove back so that it hides the edge of the towel.
And you’re done.
Lube it up and go to town.
Silicone Pocket Pussy
This is for the guys who are little handier, have the patience to wait, and looking to make something less disposable.
Stuff you need:
1. A candle that is bigger than your penis in both length and girth
2. A marker
3. A sharp knife
4. Silicone sealant (You can find this in any hardware store and it’s very cheap. Cheaper than a Fleshlight, that’s for sure.)
First, put your penis against the candle and draw around it with the marker.
Done? Put your penis away.
Next, draw inside the shape and trace one that is 25% smaller than your actual penis.
Now, here comes the precarious part.
Carve off the excess wax.
Start off by cutting lengthwise until you get a nice rectangular block.
What you’re making is a slightly smaller replica or your penis, so smooth it out and make it as penis-like as possible.
You want it a little smaller to get that tightness.
When you’re happy with the “dildo,” it’s time to coat it with the silicone sealant.
You want it to be a little thick, so go for about half an inch.
Then all you have to do is wait a couple of weeks (yes, weeks. I told you that you’d need patience for this!) until the silicone is completely set.
Slide out the candle and you’re done.
If it yields a product that you’re happy with, you might want to keep the candle so you can reuse it for another pocket pussy.
If not, then chuck it and try your hand at it again.
This might need some trial and error if you’re not that skilled.
Hi! I’m Rick. I’ve been masturbating for…well…as long as I can remember, and I’ve had strong opinions about how I do it the whole time. I love sex, but I also love getting value for money. I’ve been writing product reviews for 12 years now, and I’m here to help you find products that really suit you. In my spare time I love hiking, cooking, and building websites.