BDSM Collars: A Complete Guide

The topic of collaring comes up quite a bit in the online BDSM community and many people have different ideas and understandings of how collaring works and the importance behind it.

Some take it very lackadaisically while others may take it as seriously as an engagement or wedding.

If you have been long in this community, you have probably talked about collaring and maybe been collared yourself in the past, or currently be collared.

If you are new, you might be wondering about what all the hubbub is about! So, today I will be talking about collars – what different collars exist, when and how they are used, and of course why.

For some, this may be new information to take in.

For others, this may just be a brief refresher.

Regardless, I hope you find it helpful!

Types of Collars

Collaring has a very rich and deep history, stemming all the way back to the leather community with regards to modern day BDSM, and even further back with regards to slave culture in general.

To many in a D/s relationship, the use of a collar is ceremonial and holds a great deal of significance and symbolism – showing the progression of a D/s relationship as time goes by and the bond between Dominant and submissive changes and grows.

To others, it may just be a tool to denote playtime.

Let’s start with the basics.

 

The Play Collar

A play collar is often also called a kitten collar and one you will often find associated with pet play, though that is not its only use.

It is considered to be a temporary and informal collar, often used in dungeons to show that the submissive wearing it belongs to a Dom for the duration of their scene, or is used in play that calls for a collar – pet play, slave and Master roleplay.

The point is, after the scene is done, the collar comes off.

It’s significance ends there.

Outside of the dungeon, it is usually put on at the beginning of play and removed at the end of the scene and aids in the submissive achieving a deeper and ore involved subspace.

They are usually made of leather or ribbon and can be easily fastened and unfastened.

 

Day Collar

A day collar is a discrete collar that is made to be worn so that the submissive can still wear a collar to signify their relationship status and possible ownership in public.

It is a safe and comfortable form of expression without being glaringly obvious.

Day collars tend to have a more secretive way of locking or just use a normal lobster clasp.

Some look like dainty, elegant necklaces while others might involve a small hidden lock or be made of sturdier hardware.

The main function is to be able to continue to wear a collar for the submissive and the Dominant to recognize while the rest of the world may not.

In some D/s expressions, though, especially in more strict Master and slave dynamics, if someone has received a full slave collar, it is never to be removed or replaced, even by a day collar for discretion.

Day collars can be made of just about anything

It is common to see ones maid of a light chain and incorporating the Ring of O in the design.

 

Protection Collar

While this collar does not mean ownership of a submissive, it is still to be recognized and respected.

This collar is given to a submissive by a Dominant who acts as a Dominant in a protective role.

The Dominant is not to be considered their Master or owner, however it ensures that others know, while the submissive wears this collar, they are not to be approached without permission and will likely be properly vetted by the Dominant who holds the collar.

This dynamic is one where the Dominant is looking out for the submissive and would vet other doms before allowing pursuit of the submissive.

 

Collar of Consideration

This collar is given when a relationship moves into something more serious than just casual play.

It is akin to serious dating in the vanilla world.

It is usually leather and can be removed for public appearances but is otherwise always to be worn when in the presence of the Dominant.

In this stage, the Dom and the submissive are learning more about each other, delving more deeply into their D/s relationship and how they express themselves, learning what the other needs from them in order for them to fulfill their respective duties sufficiently.

Consideration can be revoked if rules are broken or if either party is not getting what is agreed upon from their relationship.

 

The Training Collar

Not to be confused with a training collar specifically used for pet play, this level is considered a step up and would be akin to a promise or engagement ring in the vanilla world.

At this point there is often a contract or agreement as to what is expected of both parties.

This is the time when the submissive is being trained to be of service to their Dominant, which in turn means more structure and responsibility in the relationship for all parties involved.

These collars will not be removed just from a simple misstep.

It may be a leather collar or a metal collar that can be removed, again, when necessary (showers, medical emergencies, certain social and public events, etc), but should always be worn in the presence of the Dominant.

 

Slave/Formal Collar

This collar is used when both patties are ready to take their relationship to the final level.

It exemplifies complete commitment and ownership and submission in a D/s relationship and is akin to a wedding ring.

Often the couple will have a collaring ceremony during which the collar is given, placed, and a renewable contract is signed.

This is a metal collar that is never to be removed, save for in a medical emergency.

It shows that the submissive has given everything of themselves over to their Dominant and trusts them to guide them through life.

It also shows that the Dominant is there to guide them through life, to love and support them and their growth.

This does not mean there is no autonomy in the relationship.

It does mean, however, that the submissive is fully owned, happy and willing to serve, and that the Dominant has taken the responsibility of lifting you up through your service.

 

Collaring in Online Communities

With BDSM becoming more prevalent in mainstream communities, it is no wonder that there are now plenty of ways to meet Dominants and submissives online – whether in specific chat rooms or Reddits geared towards the topic of BDSM, image sites like Tumblr, roleplay sites like Elliquiy and F-List, or dating, meeting and community sites like Fetlife.

BDSM has extended its reach.

However, you may find in online D/s communities and relationships that you have a higher concentration of new entrants into the lifestyle, or those who are learned but toxic, and you may see a collar is quickly given and just as quickly removed.

The term given for this is the “Velcro Collar”.

It is meant to be a negative term and demeaning, though I believe it is also meant to increase awareness and understanding amongst those who engage in online D/s relationships that collaring is not something meant to be taken lightly; that D/s relationships require commitment, maturity and mutual respect.

 

Looking for a Collar?

BDSM Collar Shop

A relative newcomer on the scene, this collar shop has a pretty good selection of BDSM Collars, nipple clamps, and BDSM restraints (check them out here)

They ship directly from the supplier, which keeps their price low, but be prepared to wait 1-3 weeks for your collar to arrive.

That being said, there are some great bargains to be had, and they have custom collars available as well!

 

Etsy

Etsy is a great place in general to search for BDSM gear – though the price tag can be a bit steep as is expected with handmade custom niche items.

A quick search on Etsy can bring up a whole range of bespoke shops that can make you something unique, regardless of the level or type of collar.

The best ways to narrow your search are to know what you are looking for – type of collar, materials, etc. and have an idea of the money you want to spend.

Take a look around. You are bound to find something you will like!

 

Melted Kitten Creations

melted-kitten-creations-1

(Image credit: Melted Kitten Creations on Instagram)

This shop specializes in very intricate and ornate kitten play/pet play collars.

They are sturdy enough to withstand playtime and a bit of tugging, but not meant to be roughly handled as they are a little more delicate.

Depending on how stubborn tbe pet or how rigorous the training and play, they might not be for you.

melted-kitten-creations-2

(Image credit to Melted Kitten Creations on Instagram)

They have regular releases that are announced on Instagram and often open up custom slots for people to purchase.

They use Etsy as their selling platform.

The prices range from $40 USD and go up from there depending on the hardware used.

 

Restrained Grace

restrained-grace

restrained-grace-collar-2

(On the left, DDLG Pacifier Charm Collar – $55 USD. On the right, Kitten Play Charm Collar – $55 USD. Image credit to Restrained Grace.)

Home of some of the most beautiful and elegant play and day collars I have seen, Restrained Grace’s designs are simple but beautiful, fulfilling both form and function.

They use leather, metal chain and pearls to create stunning collars that can be used in a variety of BDSM sub genres – including pet play, DDLG, and slave dynamics.

lockable-lavender-day-collar

(Lockable Lavender Ring of O Pearl Day Collar – $110 USD. Image credit to Restrained Grace.)

The shop has both an Instagram and an online store front ( https://www.restrainedgrace.com/collections/new-1 ) that you can peruse and purchase from.

rose-gold-steel-infinity-slave-collar

(Rose Gold Steel Infinity Slave Collar – $75 USD./Image credit to Restrained Grace.)

Their prices are pretty decent and tend to range from $30-$120 USD depending on the materials used.

They also have some promoters on Instagram that provide discount codes you can use to save some money on your purchase.

Over all – they offer a wide range of collars that span multiple levels of commitment and different types of play.

 

Sub-Shop

sub-shop-collar

(SUB Black Leather Rhinestone Letter Collar – $19.95 USD. Image credit to sub-shop.com )

Sub-Shop is one of the most reliable one-stop bondage gear websites I have encountered.

Shipping times are impeccable and product quality has never let me down.

They have every manner of collar – rubber and PVC O-ring and D-ring collars, metal collars, corset posture collars, collars that are also gags, pet play collars and leash sets, slave collars – the only thing I haven’t seen is ribbon/kitten collars – but everything else seems to be accounted for.

Their prices are also very reasonable with a very wide range from $15 to $100 USD.

 

Amazon

amazon-locking-submissive-collar

(Amazon.com – $157.00)

Generally speaking – you can find just about anything on Amazon.

A quick search for “bdsm collars” brought up several options – ranging from metal day collars like the one pictured above, to simpler leather or fake leather collars with O-rings, to collars with lettering and locks.

My advice when dealing with Amazon is always look at how many purchases have been made, the rating the item has receive and whether there are any reviews ao you do not end up getting something you didn’t purchase.

Price ranges are the most dynamic on Amazon.

You could find something as cheap as a few dollars or as expensive as a couple hundred, depending on what you are looking for.

Again, however, there seems to be an underrepresentation of kitten play ribbon collars, so id this is what you are looking for, you are better off trying one of the other shops that offers this style of collar.

 

Eternity Collars

eternity-bdsm-collar

(Limited Edition Titanium Eternity Collar in Radiance Finish – $205 USD.Image credit to Eternity Collars)

Eternity Collars is an online shop that is well known amongst the veterans in the community.

They are the go-to source for eternity collars (aka full slave collars).

They have expanded their product style to include lockable leather collars and discreet day collars, as well.

The collars are finely wrought, with a simple, elegant design, and made from quality leathers and metal

The price tag is certainly more hefty – ranging from $60-$300 USD – but it is well worth it.

These collars are made for commitments that are not to be taken lightly.

In Conclusion…

Regardless of whether your relationship is in person or long distance and online – and regardless of the level of commitment or the type of play – there is a collar for you.

Not everyone’s relationship or their expression of it looks the same – it is important to recognize and know the difference between individuality and abuse.

Always remember that a collar is what you make it and keep in mind the weight of importance and respect behind the symbol.

 

Hi! I’m Rick. I’ve been masturbating for…well…as long as I can remember, and I’ve had strong opinions about how I do it the whole time. I love sex, but I also love getting value for money. I’ve been writing product reviews for 12 years now, and I’m here to help you find products that really suit you. In my spare time I love hiking, cooking, and building websites.

The Ultimate Lube Guide For Sex And Masturbation

 Creating The Slippery Situations You Want To Get Into

The majority of bad sexual encounters are mainly because things didn’t get wet enough. There is nothing sadder than a dry hand job and, honestly, a dry vagina borders on questionable.
Similarly, lubrication is just as important when you’re rubbing or stroking one out. This is why a big bottle of Jergens and a box of Kleenex is a staple on any guy’s bedside table.
The main reason why wetter is better is because you want to avoid chaffing.
The sexual organs are the most sensitive parts of the body and you want to make sure that everything is slippery and comfortable down there to get the most pleasure out of your more intimate times.
You can prevent all sorts of disasters from happening just by taking the easy step of adding lubrication before you get right down to business.
Let’s cover the basics first. Why is it important to use and get the right lube?
If we’re going to be totally honest here, everything isn’t always ideal when you want to get it on. Sometimes, we need that extra help to get things going.
Here are the most usual situations where a tube of lube would definitely come in handy.

Reasons to use lube

Good old fashioned vaginal sex

Sometimes, even though she’s in the mood, her body says otherwise. Don’t take it against your girlfriend. How wet she gets down there doesn’t always correspond to how turned on she is.
In reality, the vagina’s natural lubrication depends a lot on her ovulation cycle. I’m sure you’ve noticed before that there are certain times of the month when she’s wetter than usual, right?
The consistency of her juices could also vary. It could get a little thick when she’s closer to her period.
The fact of the matter is, there are plenty of reasons why she could be dry from time to time and most of it has nothing to do with you.
She could be more stressed out than usual or she’s on antidepressants or it could be as simple as using regular bath soap down there.
Anyway, there is no shame in reaching for a bottle of lube when you want to fool around and things aren’t exactly going well down there.
And honestly, she’ll probably appreciate it more than you do. Straight dudes will never know the discomfort of having something hard rammed into you when you’re just not ready for it. At least that’s what my girlfriend says.
The more lubricated you both are, the better sex you’ll have and the more frequently it’ll probably happen too.

Knocking on the backdoor

The anal canal has no natural lubrication. It’s not going to wet back there the way a vagina can.
And even though sticking things into the back door has been one of man’s longstanding kinks, the fact of the matter is, things aren’t supposed to go in your butt.
Before you start enjoying this activity (because both parties certainly can), it’s always going to be uncomfortable at least for the first few times.
You have to take your time and explore to get used to the sensation and learn how to enjoy it.
As a general rule, ass play should always come hand-in-hand with lubricants. Trying to put things in there, even something as small as a finger or a prostate toy, will always be rough if you do it dry.

Jacking it

I wish someone would have told me that it’s better to go the natural route when it comes to masturbation the au natural way.
The skin of the penis is very, very delicate. You don’t want to be putting any harsh chemicals on there that could be found in commercial lotions.
Olive or coconut oils are you best bets. As you know, these are very good for your skin too. Talk about dual purpose.
You probably figured out pretty early that self-pleasuring is easier and it feels better if you use some kind of lube.

Toy Joy

Whether you’re a guy or a girl, from Fleshlights to dildos, lube is an indispensable accompaniment to any of your favorite sex toys.
Most sex toys are made of medical-grade silicone and won’t pair well with anything other than water-based lubes.
Even though this is kind of a hassle to use because it dries pretty quickly and requires constant reapplication if you’re going at it for a while, this is still better for maintaining the materials of your sex toy.
Some toys allow for oils. That could feel amazing too.
But I’ve never come across a toy that lubricates itself, so those two always go hand in hand.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself

Using lube can prevent you from getting all sorts of infections. Now, how exactly do those two correlate?
Without proper lubrication, the friction will compromise your skin. This is especially dangerous because you’re thrusting in a delicate area.
This will irritate your skin, open it up and make you more prone to contracting nasty diseases.
In addition to that, if you’re one of the more careful ones (and I do applaud you for that), it’s important to know that only water-based lubes are compatible with condoms.
Yes, most condoms come are lubed right out of the packet, but if you’re going to be at it for the whole night, you’re going to need more of that wet stuff.
Using any other kind of lubrication will compromise the materials of the condom, making it ineffective.
So whether you’re trying to avoid HIV or unexpectedly having to pay for child support, it is always better to be safe than sorry.

Going sensual

When you think massage, your mind automatically goes to sensual oils and lotions. While this is all well and good, did you know that silicone-based lube is way better alternative?
It makes for easier clean up and won’t leave you feeling like you’ve dipped yourself in a vat of lard.
There are also warming lubes that will add to relaxation and pain relief.

The best lube to use in any situation

Lube is not as basic anymore as you would think. There are all sorts of different options available on the market right now that you can choose from and pair with a specific activity.

Kinds of lube

First, let’s explore what kinds of lubes there are so we can figure out what they can be good for.

Oil-based lubes

Oil lubes are usually more natural, so they’re less likely to contain harmful chemicals and preservatives. Out of everything, I personally think this feels the best.
But it does have it drawbacks. As I mentioned above, condoms, which are primarily made of latex, really don’t go together.
It weakens it and creates tiny holes that could allow your little guys to swim through.
It’s also important to note that oil-based lubes pose a higher risk for getting infections. It’s thicker and it’s a bacteria magnet, so clean up is a must.
You should be concerned about getting this on your sheets too. Oil stains are hard to remove.

Silicone-based lubes

Silicone-based lubes hardly have any water in them.
The best thing about silicone is that it’s hypoallergenic, so you don’t have to worry about breaking into hives when you use this one.
And since silicone is not absorbed by the skin, it just rests on the surface and they last longer, so there would be no need to keep reapplying it over and over again.

Water-based lube

This is safest off all lubes, but it dries significantly quicker than the rest.
They’re also not as slippery. Think hand sanitizer gel.
The upside is that they’re the cheapest way to go and are the easiest to find and they’re compatible with virtually any sex toy.
You would think that water would be the best lubricant, but you would know that that’s not true if you’ve ever had sex in a pool.

Natural lube

If you want to go natural, there are several options that are available. But remember, this type of lube is harder to find and generally more expensive.
They are specialty potions by “green” stores and those who advocate going organic.
Natural lubes more often than not plant-based like aloe gel, so this is good news for all you vegans out there.
There has also been a rise in sales for the coconut oil. The oil from this tropical fruit can do miracles for just about any part of your body from your hair to your metabolism.
And I have to say, it feels damn good too.

Petroleum-based lubes

This is better for him than it is for her. Women should avoid this one because it changes the delicate pH of the vagina and that’s just yeast infection waiting to happen.
For guys, this is okay if you’re just using your hand to jerk off. There’s always of jar of petroleum jelly in everyone’s bathroom cabinet. Its consistency is pretty thick so a little goes a long way.

Hybrid lubes

If you can’t pick from these options, you can easily just get a combination of what you like. Maybe you like the feeling of a water-based lube and the lasting quality of the silicone one.
These would be great to use with a partner, not so much with sex toys.

The best of the best

Now that the basics are out of the way, let’s get into the best options for every situation where you might need to lube up.

The best water-based lubricant

The problem with water-lube is that it usually doesn’t feel all that good. The reason why they’re so popular is because they are the safest and the easiest to find.
Just go to a 7-eleven and there’s probably one or two brands right next to the condoms.
I’ve tested a lot of water-based lubes and found the best one. It’s called the Shibari Premium Personal Lubricant. It’s a bit on the pricey side at $1.20 per ounce on Amazon, but trust me, it’s worth it.
If you go for the bigger size, you can save a lot more money and it comes in an easy-pump bottle, which is great because it’s more convenient.
The Shibari is my favorite because it doesn’t feel like any other water-based lubricant. It’s silky and leaves the skin soft.
Rubbing dries out water-based lubes pretty quickly. This is why you have to constantly reapply it. Well, with the Shibari, it’s not necessary to do that as often.
This perfect for vaginal sex, playing with sex toys and it’s condom-safe.

The best oil-based lube

My favorite oil-based lube is the Coconu. It’s vegan and it’s even edible. It smells amazing too and it always brings back memories from my trip Bali for some reason.
If you really want to go natural, jojoba oil is a good alternative as far as pure formulas go. What’s great about jojoba oil is that is has antibacterial properties.
To practice safe anal sex, you want to go with something thick and slick, so oil-based is the best choice because it doesn’t dry as quickly.

The best silicone-based lube

Silicone-based lubes are the most expensive and you’ll have better luck finding them online than in actual stores.
That being said, it’s also the most long-lasting, which means you’re not going to need much of it at a time. Just one or two pumps of this stuff and this will last you a while.
My favorite silicone-based lube is the Swiss Navy Premium. It works just as well as any fancier brands, but it doesn’t cost as much.

The best lube for normal sex

The key thing here is to remember that you don’t want to mess with her vaginal pH, so oil-based lubes are a no-no right off the bat. If you don’t keep this in mind, this makes her more likable to get infections.
We like to use HerSolution Gel. The reason we like this so much is that not only is it water-based and won’t compromise the balance of her pH, it’s also a libido enhancer too.
I like to rub this all over her clitoris and pussy lips and she swears it’s a lot easier for her to achieve an orgasm with this product.
Apparently, there is a stimulant called L-Arganine that’s in this special blend that induces blood flow to area, making it more sensitive.
This is a great addition to foreplay. You’re welcome, fellas.

The best desensitizing lube

If anal is something you really want to try and can’t get past the first hump, as it can be quite painful at first, a desensitizing lube could really help you out.
It numbs the area while doing what a normal lube would do. My girl’s favorite desensitizing lube is the Cleanstream Relax. It’s very effective and does the trick, even though at first, she was reluctant about it.
She told me that she felt no pain at all. You’ll also find no traces of it after you take a shower. It doesn’t leave some greasy residue like other desensitizing lube brands.
However, I think it’s important to note that this poses some risks. If you numb the area, then you don’t really know what’s going down there.
For all you know, you could be doing some serious damage in your anal canal and you would have no idea that it’s even happening. So keep that in mind if you’re considering this option.
The trick is just to make sure that she’s relaxed and she’s not tense down there.
If you’re planning an epic masturbation session and don’t think you can last that long, this could also be a solution to that.
You don’t want to use a lot of it and you don’t want to use it the entire time, but this could be a great help if you want to take a “break” and don’t exactly want to stop.

The best edible lubes

This is great for oral sex, but it’s more a novel thing to bring into the bedroom and doesn’t actually have much use after the fact.
For some people, going down on someone just isn’t their favorite thing, so this could be good way to make it a lot more pleasant.
We see a lot of articles on Cosmo encouraging women to bring food into the bedroom. I’ve never really liked that idea. It sounds messy and unnecessary.
But if taste is something that you feel you might enjoy, there are so many flavored lubes out there that you can choose from.
My favorite one is a departure from the normal fruity route (because when we think flavored, we think fruit). It’s called Wicked Aqua Mocha Java. It’s water-based, so it’s easy to clean and won’t stain your sheets.
It honestly tastes and smells like you’re going down on a delectable mocha cake. Fun.

The best warming lube

This option is really more for the dudes who are going solo. I don’t find much use for this when I’m having sex with an actual woman because, given that hopefully you’re doing it with someone who is alive, it’s plenty warm down there to begin with.
However, if you’re playing with a toy or some sex doll, you might want to use something like this for the added realism.
This is actually very convenient and allows you to skip having to warm up your sex toy. You don’t have to do anything else other than just the usual lube application before you go to town on it.
My favorite one is the classic KY Warming Jelly. It’s a well-known brand and it does the job well. It’s also compatible with any sex toy out there.

The best lube for sensitive skin

If you already know that your skin could develop some reactions to certain products, it would be smart to test out lubes on other places of your body other than your junk.
Down there is not where you want feel any burning or itching.
Thankfully, there are many hypoallergenic options out there for people whose skin is picky and sensitive. My favorite brand is the Isabel Fay. It’s the highest rated lube for sensitive skin out there and is made of all natural ingredients.
It’s safe for sex toys and condoms too. I like this one because it hardly smells like anything at all and it is made in US. That means it has been thoroughly tested in order for it to pass the Health Board.
This is a very safe choice if you’re looking for something that is completely paraben-free.

The best lube for sex toys

The first thing you need to consider is what your sex toy is made off. By and large, water-based lubes are compatible with all sex toys across the board.
But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck with something water-based if that doesn’t exactly float your boat.

Silicone

For silicone toys, you’re pretty much stuck with water-based lubes because silicone essentially melts under any other kind of lube.
It would not be wise to damage something you paid good money for. Just keep in mind that if it’s made of something soft or something meant to mimic real skin, always go for the water-based option.
My favorite water-based lube to use with sex toys is the Please Gel Lubricant. It’s a light gel. I usually go for that because I find that going with something thicker makes cumming a lot easier for me.
So if I’m playing with, say, a Fleshlight with an insane texture, it’s better for me to go with something with a thinner consistency so the feeling won’t get too intense.
It’s pretty long-lasting too, as far as water-based lubes go, and it will be good for about 15 minutes of pumping before you have to reapply it.

Metal

If you’re into the more kinky stuff like metal toys, you can use pretty much whatever lube you want. Honestly, metal sex toys are not as intimidating as they are cracked out to be.
We associate BDSM and all that other hardcore stuff with that, but in reality, they’re the most luxurious sex toys around and can be enjoyed by anyone even if you think your sex life is pretty vanilla by most standards.
These are great if you want something that’s versatile (can be used by a guy or girl) and has a little weight to it. They’re also the easiest to clean.
For our steel butt plugs and metal dildos, we usually use Uberlube. This is some fancy stuff, but boy, does it feel amazing. It’s silicone-based and extremely slick.
Like I said before, since it’s silicone-based, you only ever really need to apply it once.
It also comes in a super chic bottle that goes with the whole aesthetic of metal sex toys too. If it’s that kind of night, we love using this pairing.

Glass

Like metal, you can use whatever lube you want with glass. Glass sex toys are usually dildos or beads and butt plugs.
If you don’t like the idea of playing with glass (because who does?), I can assure you that the make of these things is very sturdy and you don’t have to worry about any sort of breakage.
The great thing about glass is that it’s non-porous. That means it won’t absorb anything you put on it. So you could go oil-based or even a hybrid lube.
My girlfriend’s favorite lube for her glass sex toys is the Sliquid Naturals Silver Silicone Lubricant. That’s a mouthful.
Since it’s silicone-based, it’s perfect for ass play and for massages. And because we like to live on the edge and use this in the shower, it’s not water-soluble, so it doesn’t wash off under running water.

Plastic

Plastic sex toys are usually dolls. Yes, there are some plastic portable sex toys out there, but they’re usually knockoffs of the real thing.
I advise you to steer clear away from these products because they’re not made to pass any health standards here in the States.
But if you’re playing a doll or some plastic anal beads (harder plastic is fine), I have to recommend that you stick with something water-based just in case.
I also have to say that it wouldn’t be a good idea to use any kind of hybrid lubes, soI’d take out the Please Gel for this one as well.

The best lube for travelers

If you travel a lot and your sex toys are always packed away in your suitcase, then you’re going to need lube too.
None of us would be down for carrying big bottles of lube around and you can’t have more than 3.4 ounces in your carry-on.
Thankfully, you don’t have to tolerate just the regular, run of the mill, Durex lube in a packet.
I personally use Licx Gel Lube as it comes in very convenient travel-sized sachets. It’s water-based so it sex toy compatible.
If you’re a bachelor and are looking to get some action over a weekend getaway, this is safe for condoms as well.

Last minute tips and my final word

As a general rule, when you’re looking for the right kind of lube, it’s best to avoid glycerin, propylene glycol, and chlorhexidine gluconate. I’m sorry to go scientific all of a sudden, but you’ll thank me later for knowing what you shouldn’t put on your junk.
Overall, lube is there for pleasure, but it does have the added benefit of maintaining sexual health as well. Happy humping!

Hi! I’m Rick. I’ve been masturbating for…well…as long as I can remember, and I’ve had strong opinions about how I do it the whole time. I love sex, but I also love getting value for money. I’ve been writing product reviews for 12 years now, and I’m here to help you find products that really suit you. In my spare time I love hiking, cooking, and building websites.

How To Get The Best Fleshlight Experience

How To Use A Fleshlight

In this list, we’ll cover the basics and explore some ways you possibly haven’t tried before.

Let’s get to it.

First thing’s first.

What’s a Fleshlight?

This ingenious device was specifically designed to add boosted pleasure for men’s masturbation sessions.

It’s essentially a portable pussy (or ass, or mouth) that feels incredibly realistic and sometimes even better than the real thing, depending on your chosen sleeve texture.

The case could be either clear or opaque and it comes in a number of different sizes.

The most important thing to note about this case, aside from the fact that it’s made to look like a flashlight (hence the name) for discretion, is that is has two caps.

The cap in the front uncovers the opening of the Fleshlight and the other cap can be twisted off to adjust the intensity of the suction.

With the staggering amount of sleeves to choose from, you will never have to be bored.

These sleeves pretty much dictate how good your masturbation experience is going to be.

Some are more challenging that others and fit any fetish you could be into.

As an added bonus, Interactive Life Forms, the maker of the Fleshlight, have come up with line of units modeled after your favorite porn stars and cam girls for that personal touch.

Getting started

So you’ve joined the millions of satisfied Fleshlight owners all over the world and don’t know the first thing about how to use it or maybe you’ve been using it for quite some time and have run out of ideas on how to mix things up.

Well, don’t worry. I’ve got you covered.

Let’s say you’ve just taken your Fleshlight out of its packaging.

The first thing you need to do is remove the cardboard tube wedged inside the sleeve.

Don’t get too excited and stick your junk in there right away.

That’s an accident waiting to happen.

Now, with that out of the way, let’s get into prep.

Warm up the sleeve

If you’re going for a more realistic feel, then you’re going to want to warm up your sleeve to mimic the actual body temperature.

This isn’t really necessary and you don’t have to do it if you don’t feel like it, as the Fleshlight will likely warm up on its own as you use it.

That’s just how friction works.

But if you want to feel the warmth right off the bat, there are a number of ways you can do this.

This is especially good during those cold and lonely winter months when all you want to do is down a couple glasses of bourbon and stick your penis into something warm and comforting.

Sounds like a good time.

The sleeve warmer

ILF has come up with their very own patented sleeve warmer as a Fleshlight accessory.

It is lightweight, sleek and just as portable as its counterpart.

What’s cool about it is that it can be charged via USB cable, so you can hook it up to your laptop and never have to go through the hassle of buying batteries for it.

There is not much to be said about the device itself because it’s really just rod attached to a sturdy base and it heats up. There is not much to it, but it makes a world of difference.

You just slide your sleeve down onto the rod and it shouldn’t take more than five minutes for the warmer to make it nice and comfy.

But how warm are we talking here?

It can go up to 90 to 100 degrees Fahrenheit within five minutes, just the right temperature to make it feel like it’s a body.

According to the manual, it can reach up to 135 degrees, which I’m guessing is what it would feel like to have sex with someone with someone who has a high fever.

If that’s what you’re into, then whatever floats your boat.

That’s personally a little too warm for me, but it’s all about preference here.

Don’t be alarmed.

It’s never going to feel like your penis is on fire and it’s a definitely a step up from thrusting into something cold and slick.

That sensation reminds me a little too much of my more experimental days when I would masturbate with hollowed-out fruit and tube socks.

The old-fashioned way

What ILF has always suggested even way before they came up with their warmer is that you soak the sleeve in warm water anywhere from 10 to 15 minutes.
This has always done the trick, but it can be a bit messy and it takes considerably longer.
Take note: DO NOT submerge your sleeve in boiling water or pop it in the microwave. This will most definitely damage it and that’s about 80 bucks down the drain.

Bundle of joy

This was my personal favorite before getting the sleeve warmer. I would wrap my sleeve in a blanket or towel and put it on my radiator for a few minutes.
This was great because I didn’t want it to get wet except with lube and when I’m cleaning it out with water. Just always remember to wrap it something before you do this. Putting it on a heater directly will also damage it.
If you’ve got one of those electrical warming blankets or a heating pad, those can be good too.

Lube up

This is very, very important. You never want to skip this step if you want to avoid a nasty case of chaffing. Because of the Fleshlight’s secret patented combination of rubber polymers, they advise that you should only use water-based lubes.
This is a simple enough instruction to follow, to assure that your sleeve maintains its freshness and integrity.
Again, this is all about preference. You might want to play around with different kinds of lube to get best masturbation experience. You could experiment with thin, thick, warming or cooling lubricants.
I personally like to switch it up from time to time because I don’t want the same experience every single time I pleasure myself.
It also adds to the realism bit because I noticed that girls don’t exactly get wet the same way.
This is just a step that you should never be skipped because it protects your junk, so you can be sure that you won’t feel any kind of pain, discomfort or, worse, infections.

What’s your style?

Here is where we can get creative. Men have always been imaginative when it comes to their masturbation techniques from humping sculptures to couch cushions. That certainly doesn’t end with the Fleshlight.
Here is where you can experiment with different positions and play out your favorite fantasies. If you can picture it, you can most likely do it.

Going old school

The fleshlight is meant as a masturbation aid, so of course the mind automatically goes to just using it with your hand.
Even though this is the most rudimentary way of using it, this is always going to better than just jacking it with your bare hand.
Just find the most comfortable position, maybe even put on right porn clip and you’re good to go.
You can do this on your back or hold it firmly in front of you so you can slide yourself in. This is great if you want to have full control of how it’s angled.
If you have a willing wife or girlfriend, it’s even better if someone else does this for you.

A trick up your sleeve

If the previous method has gotten old for you, one way to step it up is by losing the case and playing with just the sleeve.
You will lose the suction feature because it’s the case that does that, but you’ll be able to adjust the pressure manually by squeezing your sleeve in the right spots.
If you want to get the most out of your chosen texture, it’s good to explore it this way.
Now, ILF came up with their own “renewing powder,” which is actually just pure cornstarch. It’s recommended that you powder your sleeve every once in a while to maintain the softness and silky texture it had right out of the box.
The reason I bring this up is because it’s advisable to dust your sleeve slightly before you use it to avoid slippage.
If you’re average sized or maybe even a little smaller, then you won’t get the full use of out the diverse range of textures ILF has come up with.
Sometimes, they reserve the really intense configurations for the more endowed and put these crazy textures right at the very end of the sleeve, which you’re not going to get to reach if you’re under 7 inches.
Well, this is perfect workaround to that. Simply enter your sleeve from the other end to get in on the action. You could switch up with textures for a more varied experience.

If you like to watch

ILF released the LaunchPAD and it delighted users everywhere because it took into account the obvious: if you’re using the Fleshlight, then you’re most likely watching porn.
It’s a rubber case that fits a 3rd or 4th generation iPad with Velcro straps at the base to fasten and secure your Fleshlight. Since it’s made of rubber, it’s very easy to grip.
This is perfect for POV videos because this will better immerse you in the fantasy.

If you’re in a long distance relationship

One of the major drawbacks of, say, being halfway across the world from your loved one is that you’re not going to get any action.
But with the recent innovations, cybersex has become a thing that a lot of couples resort to in order to maintain their intimacy.
The LaunchPAD will work for some good old fashioned Skype sex, but if you want to take it to the next level, Kiiroo has partnered with Fleshlight to create the Onyx and the Pearl.
All you need is a reliable internet connection and you can sync these two devices up to provide real time stimulation for both parties.
The amazing part about this setup is that anything one of you does, the other can feel. So if she takes in the Pearl in her pussy, your Onyx will tighten.
This is undeniably better than just having phone sex and playing with yourself with. Knowing that it’s a shared experienced helps to reestablish the connection with your special someone.

If you want to go hands-free

Sometimes, in order to really get into the fantasy, you have to “forget” that you’re jerking yourself off.
The same concept applies to watching movies. You know that what you’re watching is made up, but your brain automatically suspends your belief. This way, you’ll be able to relate to the characters and be interested in the plot as if it was real.
Something like this can be achieved if you take your hands out of the equation. Here are some ways you can have a totally hands-free experience.
These are great ways to practice if you want to incorporate your Fleshlight into your sex life with a partner because it frees up your hands to do other naughty things.

On a mission mount by Liberator

I know it’s intimidating to get a piece of furniture that is specifically designed for masturbation, but you have the cash to spare, this is a great addition to any bedroom.
It’s pretty sizable, but it’s very light as it’s made with very firm foam. The one end is slanted and there is a hole. This is where your Fleshlight is meant to go into. It fits very snugly in there and you don’t have to worry about it falling out.
Actually, it takes some force to get it in there.
The angle pretty much makes it feel like you’re having sex in the missionary position. The good thing about this mount is that it’s extremely comfortable. You can rest your elbows in the front and pump away.
To use it, all you have to do is position yourself on top of the mount. Its width is only 9 inches, so it should fit nicely between your legs.
Of course at this point, it should be all lubed up. You should be able to easily slide yourself in.
Now, you can imagine yourself in all sorts of scenarios. You could use a mouth orifice paired with a texture that’s meant to simulate a blowjob and pretend that you’re going to town on someone’s face.
If you get bored with this, you can prop it on its side, spoon it and enter from the side.
Because it’s made of faux leather, cleanup is a breeze. All you need is some all-purpose surface cleaner and a cloth to take care of your messes.
But perhaps the best thing about having one of these is that you can play out that threesome you’ve always wanted.
This only goes to show that using a Fleshlight could not only be a solo activity, but it could spice things up with a willing partner.

The shower mount

This mount will stick onto any smooth surface, preferably tiles. That’s why they marketed this for some shower fun. You can also even mount this on glass if you want to stick it onto your shower door.
It’s easy to adjust the angle, so you can get in any safe and comfortable position that you’d like.
Just like with regular shower sex, it can be quite the balancing act. You have to careful not to slip, so non-slip mats and grips will help a lot.
The most important thing to remember when using your Fleshlight in the shower, make sure you still use water-based lube.
The SuperSkin (the amazing material the Fleshlight sleeves are made of) don’t do well with anything else.
I realize that since you’re going to be in a wet environment, you’d think oil would be the perfect lubrication, but this is really not a good idea. It will ruin your sleeve.
DO NOT use soap. Your penis will not be happy about it either.
So stick to something water-based even though you’ll probably have to use a lot of it.

The Launch

This is another collaboration with Kiiroo and probably my favorite Fleshlight accessory. You would think that this one is for the lazy, but it requires quite a bit of prep.
First, you have to make sure that the device is fully charged and you might want to have a lineup of raunchy videos on Pornhub ready.
Setting up the device itself is pretty simple. Just attach your Fleshlight by doing a twisting clockwise motion and wait until you hear a nice little click. That means you’re good to go.
Lube it up and slide on in. Here is the fun part. With the Launch, there are two modes: manual and interactive.
If you want to have full control, then go the manual route. This allows you to set how fast and how long the strokes are. The controls are intuitive and makes for a very relaxed experience.
I have got to tell you that this thing is a beast. Because it’s a machine, it’ll never tire (that is, until its battery runs out).
The interactive mode, on the other hand, takes the porn-watching experience to the next level. Pornhub collated their own special content specifically for this device, so you won’t have to worry about running out of new material.
What’s cool about this is that the movement of the Launch is synced very accurately with these videos. Whatever is happening in the video, you will feel in real life perfectly timed along with it.
Taking it a step further, this device is also VR ready. I don’t know about you, but when I first heard about this device, I thought we’d arrived in the future.

Use things you have in the house

It doesn’t matter if you can’t afford these Fleshlights accessories just yet. You can use things that are already lying around in your home.

Another use for your bed

This is one of the sturdier options. All you have to do is lift your mattress up slightly and wedge your Fleshlight in between that and the box spring or mattress base.
Kneel in front of your bed and thrust in and out to your heart’s content.
This is perfect for replicating doggy-style sex. And since your bed is a heavy piece of furniture, you don’t have to worry about your Fleshlight going askew. You can plow the living daylight out it and it will stay put.
Another great thing about this method is that you can put your laptop, tablet, magazine or whatever it is you’re into right in front of you for easy access.

The pillow, towel and couch cushion method

An even simpler way to use your Fleshlight is to just stick it in between two pillows and fasten them together with a belt to secure your setup. This is great if you want to try all sorts of positions, particularly the cowgirl. Just hug the pillows while on your back and thrust upwards.
You can also wrap a bath towel around it for some height (the angle is way too low if you’re just going to set it on the bed). This doesn’t take any time at all.
This one is a classic: stick it in between couch cushions. That is if you have the luxury of being able to masturbate in your living room without having to worry if someone is going to walk in on you.

On your desk

The only thing you will need for this is some heavy duty duct tape. Just secure your Fleshlight in place and be careful not to get cum on your keyboard.
The advantage to this is that your computer is probably on your desk, right? You can watch your favorite NSFW videos as you use it.
If you think this is lame and you’re pretty handy anyway, take a trip to the hardware store or look around on Amazon and buy a durable clamp. After this, you can pretty much clamp it onto anything else.

Take your penis for a walk

This is as straightforward as it can get. Just grab any shoe, unlace it and shove your Fleshlight in there. Tighten the laces to secure it place, lube up, and you’re good to go.
Since the shoe is planted on the floor, this can take a lot of thrusting. As far as angles go, this is what feels most like having sex in the missionary position.
Honestly, this can be quite the workout, but I’m sure we can all agree that the payoff is worth it.

Get someone else to do it for you

If you can’t be bothered to do it yourself and if you’re lucky enough to have a willing partner, then get him/her to do it for you.
When most people think about the Fleshlight, they automatically think that it’s a solo activity. The truth is, this is just another one of those sex toys that you can bring into your bedroom to spice up your sex life with a partner.
Trust me, your partner will appreciate it because he/she will feel included in your fantasy.
This might just seem like an excuse to lay back and watch, but experimenting in the bedroom reinforces intimacy and brings the two (or more) of you closer.
This is also a chance to safely play out your ménage à trois fantasies. The portable pussy is a lot less threatening than an actual person.
If you don’t have anyone special in your life just yet, you could line up different Fleshlights, perhaps the pussy, ass and mouth options, and imagine the dream threesome you’ve had since you were 17.

Not for the faint-hearted

It sucks when you build up the tolerance for something as pleasurable as an orgasm, but the danger is real and it happens to the best of us.
You can easily retrain yourself and hold off on the masturbation for a while. The concept is very similar to intermittent fasting.
But if you absolutely have to come as frequently as you do now to de-stress or for whatever reason, these are the options for you.

The super sucker

If you’re all about suction, then this technique is perfect for you. Lose the case and get a mason jar. You want something big enough to house your sleeve, so it’s most ideal to use a 2-pint jar.
It’s crucial that you use glass, but just be extra careful. Glass shards and your penis are not a good mix and could lead to a disaster.
Now, the setup. It’s pretty straightforward. Just put the sleeve in the mason jar as if you were using the normal Fleshlight case.
Find a stiff straw and wedge it in between the rim of the jar and the Fleshlight orifice.
You can then lube it up and put your penis in. It’s important that you first penetration is done slowly. Once you’re all the way in, carefully slide the straw out. This creates pressure inside the jar.
Technique is key here. If you want something that will suck the living daylight out of you, just pull out as far as you can. This creates a vacuum.
If it ever gets too intense, just wiggle your finger where the straw used to be to introduce some air inside.

Good vibrations

ILF released their own vibrating option for those who need that extra stimulation. So if you’re all about sticking to the Fleshlight brand, the Vibro is a cool thing to get.
Out of the box, you are given three vibrating battery operated pellets that you can slip into the sleeve, which create a wonderful vibration that will blow your mind.
Pair it with a challenging sleeve and you might not ever want to leave your bedroom.
If you want to go off-brand, these “bullet” vibrators are available pretty much anywhere. You can just scour Amazon and find the right size and intensity. This will definitely save you a couple of dollars too.
The outside of the sleeve have long ridges. All you have to do is line up the bullets in between these flaps.
You can choose how many bullets you want to put in there depending on how intense you want the vibration to be.
There is a good solution if you think you’re desensitized to a normal Fleshlight and need that extra zing in order to cum.

Conclusion

These are just some of the more popular ways to use your Fleshlight. But remember, the only limit is your imagination.
It’s not a surprise that masturbation continues to be a way for men to exercise their creativity. Just stay safe, stay clean, and have fun!

Hi! I’m Rick. I’ve been masturbating for…well…as long as I can remember, and I’ve had strong opinions about how I do it the whole time. I love sex, but I also love getting value for money. I’ve been writing product reviews for 12 years now, and I’m here to help you find products that really suit you. In my spare time I love hiking, cooking, and building websites.

How To Make Your Own Pocket Pussy

An Arts and Crafts Project You Won’t Want To Throw Away

There are so many products out there that are marketed as “Pocket Pussies.”

From the famed Fleshlight to the lesser known fake asses by Cyberskin, these could cost you a pretty penny.

Don’t you worry.

Times are hard and even though you don’t even have the 20 bucks to spare, there are things that are probably lying around in your house that you could use to fashion your very own fake pussy.

Guys have always been known to let their creativity fly when it comes to masturbation.

We take it very seriously, after all.

Why even make a pocket pussy?

Obviously, in order to enhance the masturbation experience, you want something that simulates how the real thing feels.

And you want this thing to be portable and easy to hide because you wouldn’t want your kinks on display for your mom or your girlfriend to see.

Overall, it just makes for a more enjoyable time than just using your hand to jack off.

I don’t know if it’s just my age or I do it way too often, but I’ve since lost my liking for masturbating the old fashioned way.

I guess once you’ve experienced something better, it’s hard to justify why you ever want to go back to the most natural way of doing it.

That being said, sometimes a pocket pussy could be a wildly different experience from fucking an actual vagina.

You could experiment with different textures and levels of suction that no pussy, mouth or ass could ever replicate.

This is not say that this is always going to be better than having sex with a person.

That reaches levels that you can’t achieve on your own.

Nothing will ever replace the connection and the intimacy you can have with your partner.

But as far going solo goes, it’s very possible to up your game and break up with your hand once and for all (because, honestly, it’s getting a little weird).

You can find out what texture works best for you.

I also think that it’s important to note that having a pocket pussy has other benefits besides the pleasure that you get from it.

Improve Your Stamina

The most practical one has got to be that it can improve your stamina.

Since it feels exponentially better than just using your hand, it can be very challenging to some guys who don’t last long in bed.

I don’t know about you, but I consider it a failure if my girl isn’t fully satisfied after we fool around.

It breaks my heart little, seeing that look of disappointment on her face when I just blew a few pumps a little too soon.
This is a great remedy for that.

With a pocket pussy, you can settle down, relax, and take your time.

Like Going To The Gym, But For Your Cock

The concept is very similar to working out.

The more you exercise a muscle, the more sets of reps you can do.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out.

Just keep going at it until you feel like you’re going to cum, hold off on it, take a break for a few moments, and keep going.

This is why using a pocket pussy isn’t exactly the most self-serving thing you can do.

You can tell your girlfriend that if she ever sees it on your bed side table.

I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be ticked off for that reason.

She might even thank you for it.

If you don’t have anyone special in your life just yet, having a couple of pocket pussies can help enhance your fantasies.

Fancy having an imaginary ménage à trois? Make three pocket pussies.

Honestly, this just adds another dimension to your whole masturbation experience.

Bring Your Fantasies To Life

Are you into POV porn? This is a way to step that up.

I don’t know about you, but I personally find that it takes away from the fantasy when I just use my hand.

It’s helpful to have a hands-free experience, and we’ll get to that later in this list.

If you do have a partner, this is just another one those things you can bring into the bedroom.

Sex toys aren’t just made for solo play, you can also incorporate them into your sex life.

Another orifice can’t hurt or you maybe you guys just want to play around without having vaginal or anal sex.

Whatever the reason may be, this is the perfect tool to use when things are getting a little stale under the sheets.

Initial instructions

Hold your horses.

Before we get into making you a pocket pussy (or a couple), we have to get prep out of the way.

Lube up

Naturally, your pocket pussy will not be able to get wet just like a real vagina would.

I can’t stress this enough. You need to use some kind of lubrication.

First of all, it makes the whole experience feel good. That’s the obvious bit.

But not only will this easily let you slip your junk in and out of your pocket pussy, it will make a world of difference when it comes to safety.

By using lube, you don’t have to worry about the effects of too much friction.

The skin of your penis is very delicate.

You don’t want to get any scrapes or cuts down there.

That’s the easiest way to get an infection, burns and rashes.

Warm it up

If you’re going for something more on the realistic side, then it’s best to heat things up.

Thrusting yourself into something cold and slimy is going to be weird. No one’s going to enjoy feeling like that.

There are many ways you can warm up your pocket pussies, and here they are.

  1. You might not even have to warm up the thing itself, you could just use a warming lube.
  2. Wrap it in an electric warming blanket.
  3. Wrap it in a towel that has been soaked in hot water or if water won’t compromise the build of your pocket pussy (it doesn’t have tape or glue), take it to your tub with you as you enjoy a warm bath.
  4.  You can microwave your pocket pussy, but make sure you follow the simple microwave rules. No metals and nothing very wet. How the microwave works is that it heats up liquid molecules. That’s why microwaving something very dry, like a chip, won’t heat it up as much as something more dense.
  5. Leave it beside a window where it get direct sunlight, right next to your boiler or on top a heater.

Now that’s out of the way, let’s get into some ways you can construct your own pocket pussy and start having some fun.

Veg out

This is old school.

Guys have been sticking it into fruits and vegetables for centuries, even cooked food, for that matter.

Remember that classic scene from American Pie?

Well, this is a very simple option and it doesn’t take much materials at all.

Stuff you need:

1. A long vegetable that your penis will fit into like a zucchini, eggplant or cucumber. Anything will do as long as it’s straight.

2. A condom

3. A couple of rubber bands

4. A roll of duct tape

5. A sharp knife

Right. Got everything you need?

First, cut the end of your vegetable.

This is where you’re going to insert your penis.

Next, cut it in half, lengthwise.

Remove the seeds.

You’re essentially making a case for your penis.

Don’t forget to leave some flesh so it’s not all skin.

You don’t want the vegetable to lose its sturdiness.

Now, wear your condom and put your penis on one of the halves of the vegetable.

Make sure it fits snugly in there.

Make some adjustments if needed.
If you’re happy with the fit, close her on up and put the other half on top.

Your penis should be enclosed by both sides now.
Next, use the rubber bands to create some tension.

When it’s tight enough to your liking, set it by wrapping the whole thing in duct tape.

Slide yourself out, making sure that you’re holding the rim of the condom so you won’t lose it inside.

Fold it over the opening and fasten it with more tape or rubber bands.
Then you’re good to go.

Pour some lube in there and slide your penis in.

Shiver me Pringles

This is my favorite and you’ll like this one if you’re on the longer side.

And if you ask me, this takes recycling to a whole other level.

You’ll never look at a can of Pringles the same way again.

Stuff you need:
1. An empty tube of Pringles
2. Two sponges (the kind that doesn’t have the scouring pad)
3. A roll of duct tape
4. A medium to large latex glove
5. A sharp knife

Ready?

First, take off the lid.

Easy as pie.

Next, put one sponge on flat surface, place the glove on top of that, and put the other sponge on top.

You should have a glove sandwich by now.

After that, pull the opening where you hand is supposed to go so that it hangs off in between the sponges.

Shove the whole thing inside the Pringles tube.

Make sure that are no gaps and the sponges fill the whole opening out.

Next, take the cuff of the glove and spread it apart.

Carefully pull it back over the opening of the Pringles tube.

You want to make sure that everything is covered at this point.

You won’t be able to see the sponge anymore if you’ve done it correctly.

All you’ll see is a tight slit where the two sponges meet.

For some weight, you can fill the can with some rice or beans before you do all this.

That is if you want something with a little heft to it.

The Towel Method

This is perfect if you’re new to this and you don’t have a ton of materials available or the time to spare.

Stuff you need:
1. A hand towel
2. A medium to large latex glove
3. A belt or rubber bands

Pretty simple, right?

The first thing you need to do is fold the towel two times.

Rest the glove on top of the towel with the opening hanging off to the side.

This is important.

You don’t want to lose the cuff in there.

Now, roll it around the glove very carefully.

Make sure it’s nice and tight, so it will feel like you’re actually fucking something when it’s done.

When you’ve got the tightness that you want down, fasten it with a belt or some rubber bands to keep it from unfolding.

Add more rubber bands if you want it to be even tighter.

Peel back the cuff of the glove back so that it hides the edge of the towel.

And you’re done.

Lube it up and go to town.

Silicone Pocket Pussy

This is for the guys who are little handier, have the patience to wait, and looking to make something less disposable.
Stuff you need:
1. A candle that is bigger than your penis in both length and girth
2. A marker
3. A sharp knife
4. Silicone sealant (You can find this in any hardware store and it’s very cheap. Cheaper than a Fleshlight, that’s for sure.)

First, put your penis against the candle and draw around it with the marker.

Done? Put your penis away.

Next, draw inside the shape and trace one that is 25% smaller than your actual penis.

Now, here comes the precarious part.

Carve off the excess wax.

Start off by cutting lengthwise until you get a nice rectangular block.

What you’re making is a slightly smaller replica or your penis, so smooth it out and make it as penis-like as possible.

You want it a little smaller to get that tightness.
When you’re happy with the “dildo,” it’s time to coat it with the silicone sealant.

You want it to be a little thick, so go for about half an inch.

Then all you have to do is wait a couple of weeks (yes, weeks. I told you that you’d need patience for this!) until the silicone is completely set.

Slide out the candle and you’re done.

If it yields a product that you’re happy with, you might want to keep the candle so you can reuse it for another pocket pussy.

If not, then chuck it and try your hand at it again.

This might need some trial and error if you’re not that skilled.

Hi! I’m Rick. I’ve been masturbating for…well…as long as I can remember, and I’ve had strong opinions about how I do it the whole time. I love sex, but I also love getting value for money. I’ve been writing product reviews for 12 years now, and I’m here to help you find products that really suit you. In my spare time I love hiking, cooking, and building websites.

The Ultimate Fleshlight Guide [UPDATED NOV 2018]

Ultimate Fleshlight Guide: Exploring the Ins and Outs (Pun Intended) of the Famed Pocket Pussy

Introduction

The Fleshlight is one of man’s more ingenious inventions since the wheel. It seriously boggles my mind why it took so long, considering that we’ve been pretty much sticking it in anything from couch cushions to hollowed-out fruit.

If you’ve been living under a rock or having a very faithful love affair with good old righty (or lefty) and have no clue what I’m talking about, let me fill you in on what should be in your bedside drawer.

What Is A Fleshlight?

The fleshlight looks what it sounds like – a flashlight. It was designed by a guy named Steve Shubin, but honestly, it sure sounds like a bunch of dudes came up with this idea during an epic weed sesh. This man deserves a medal.

It looks innocent enough and wouldn’t warrant a second glance, so any wives or moms snooping around wouldn’t even have a clue.

The Fleshlight is as simple as it can get. It’s still pretty analog, but boy does it feel so much better than just jerking off with your hand.

It’s an encased sleeve with caps you twist off from both ends. The wider end reveals the opening where you put your wang into and the other end adjusts the suction. This is pretty great if you’re looking to up your stamina.

I mean, let’s face it. Some dudes last longer than others and it’s really all about preference here.

Special Sleeve

The manufacturer won’t really disclose what the sleeve is made of because it’s patented. They call it the Superskin (and I must say it’s aptly named), which they say is a special blend of rubber polymers and mineral oil for that more realistic feel.

It’s non-toxic and doesn’t have that weird chemical smell so it doesn’t really take you away from the fantasy if you can get over the fact that you’re banging a portable pussy.

Knockoffs are usually made of medical-grade silicone or latex, which can be a hit or miss because some of them can be too hard and can smell a little weird.

You’d know about it if you dabbled in those blow up dolls that were all the rage in the ‘80s. It feels exactly how you would imagine it – like fucking an inflatable pool.

Have It Your Way

There are also many different kinds of configurations for the sleeve. You can buy these separately, so you don’t have to have a suspicious number of “flashlights” lying around, looking like you’ve got the whole town covered for the next blackout.

These configurations have quirky, clever names like the Texas Tornado or the Bump N Grind. You can also customize your sleeve however way you want, but they’re all made of the same soft, lifelike material.

And the folks over Interactive Life Forms don’t discriminate. Your little buddy could be any size and it would fit perfectly into any sleeve. You can’t say that about all women, if you know what I mean.

If you’ve never heard about this, I don’t where you’ve been. The Fleshlight pretty much took the States by storm when it was first released in the late ‘90s.

Men had a more sophisticated option other than jacking it with their hand with the introduction of this nifty invention. I don’t know why they didn’t come out with sooner. Maybe the technology just wasn’t there.

But it had to be done and I think all the guys are happier for it.

But why even get a Fleshlight?

So you fancy yourself a creative masturbator and don’t think you need this in your life? Who knows? That may very well be the case.

But nothing feels as good as something that was specifically designed to give you pleasure. They had meetings about this stuff. Experiments were done. Do you seriously think that this is just going to be as good as humping your mattress? Think again.

Here are some of the reasons why the Fleshlight is the greatest. I honestly can’t contain my excitement about this.

You get what you want every single time

The first thing that ought to mention is that you have three choices right off the bat. You can get the vaginal, anal or oral versions. Hell, get all three.

So whatever it is your “thing” might be, there is something for you.

Granted, these orifices don’t look like the real thing. They didn’t exactly make it look realistic and, honestly, I think most guys would prefer it that way.

It’s a little creepy to have a portable severed realistic-looking vagina in your room. They really weren’t going for a visual experience and that’s fine.

The fun part is still up to your imagination or you could just go on good old reliable PornHub.

However, f you’re a real stickler for realism, then I’m happy to tell you that they’ve come up with a series of Fleshlights that are modeled after your favorite porn stars and cam girls.

They made a mold out of the girls’ parts and made the openings of their corresponding Fleshlight model look freakishly the same down to the last little flap or crevice.

So if you’ve wondered what a night (or several nights, for that matter) with Stoya or Tori Black would feel like, then this is just about as close as you can get to the real thing.

And since I’m guessing that no one is going to be involved in your masturbation sessions other than yourself, you can use jack it pretty much any time you want. No one is going to say no.

It’s guaranteed to be safe

The Fleshlight is pretty big, notable brand now. That means a lot of people (including myself) swear by their products and the company takes people’s safety very seriously. Of course, no one wants a lawsuit filed against them.

By going the classic route and getting the OG instead of the cheaper knockoffs, you will be assured that you are getting the best quality materials that feel the best, are very safe for your skin and are easy to clean.

You don’t want to stick your thing into anything cheap and poorly made.

Since this is a widely known commercial product, it has undergone and passed many different standardized tests to make sure no one wakes up with a strange rash.

It’s your little secret

It’s pretty obvious that since they made this thing as innocent-looking as possible, discreteness was one of their main concerns.

You don’t have to worry about being shipped a human-shaped package either. I’m sure you don’t want the UPS guy to know how kinky you are.

This also won’t show up on your credit card bill as a blaring sex toy purchase. They’ve got you covered. It will be all in a hush-hush and you definitely won’t get flack for this.

It’ll help if things are getting stale

Even though when we think Fleshlight, we automatically think solo, this doesn’t mean that you can’t bring this toy into the bedroom to spice things up with your partner.

Using sex toys with a partner and keeping things exciting by playing and discovering each other’s kinks and hidden pleasure spots would strengthen any relationship.

So you could make the argument that this isn’t such a selfish purchase.

Ladies, if you’re hesitant about getting your man a Fleshlight or just letting him get one for himself, I can assure you that this is no substitute for the real thing. Nothing really beats the sensation of being with an actual person, so you should never be threatened by an object.

But with that said, it’s still pretty fun. Believe me, he’ll get a kick out of it if you participate. This will reassure him and make him feel that it’s safe to share his desires with you.

A lot of focus is given to the woman’s orgasm because it’s harder to achieve. So if you’ve got a good guy on your arm, you probably get all the attention and all the cool new toys.

Adding a Fleshlight to the mix will let him know that his pleasure is important too.

Improving your stamina

Clearly, using a Fleshlight is nothing like doing it with another person apart from the sensation. You could go at any pace you want. You can adjust the suction however way you want.

What I’m getting at is, this is all about your pleasure. There is nothing and no one else to consider.

You can take your own sweet time and train yourself to last longer. The fleshlight feels so good, you would want to prolong using it as much as possible.

Now, if you trouble with premature ejaculation, this is a good way to practice. If you’re good in bed, it’s always still good for edging. You won’t believe how intense your orgasms can get when using this product.

Either way, it’s always good to up your endurance.

How do you use a Fleshlight?

Getting warmer? The truth is, your imagination is the limit. If you can picture it, you can do it. But here are some of the more popular and basic techniques on how guys use the Fleshlight.

Make it wet

To simulate real sex as much as possible, you want to be all lubed up before you penetrate the sleeve. Chaffing in any sort of scenario is never a good feeling.

The unit comes with a couple of packets of sample lubes that they offer. Some of these have a warming or cooling effect. You’ll be able to try them out to see what you prefer.

Put some on your junk and inside the sleeve as well. You could tease yourself by rubbing the tip of your penis against the opening. Once you get hard, you’ll be able to slide right in easily.

Warm it up

Some guys like to heat up their sleeve before going to town on it. I personally like to do this because it adds to the fantasy.

The sleeve pretty much warms up on its own as you keep thrusting into it. That’s just how friction works. But if you want it warm right away, there is a fairly simple solution to that.

Just dip the sleeve in warm water for 2-5 minutes and it’s good to go. If you’re a fancy lad and have the cash to spare, ILF offers a sleeve warmer. This is way faster than the warm water method and you can charge it via USB cable.

This is also guaranteed to not damage your Fleshlight at all. It looks pretty sleek and is a great accessory to have.

Another interesting way I’ve found is wrapping the sleeve in a towel and putting it on my radiator. This will take a bit more time, but it gets the job done. Just make sure you wrap it in a towel first and don’t put it directly on there.

And never, never get any clever ideas about putting it in a microwave.

Positioning is key

Back to basics

The simplest way to use a Fleshlight is exactly the same way you usually jack off. Only this time, you’ll be using the sleeve.

You could be on your back or sitting down, whatever works for you. Then slide it up and down your shaft as you normally would.

Get creative

This is my personal favorite. I usually wedge my Fleshlight in between my mattress and the base of the bed. I kneel down in front of it and thrust away. This very much feels like you’re doing it doggy-style.

This way, it feels more like a simulation of the act itself and it doesn’t seem like I’m just masturbating.

You could also stick in between couch cushions, some pillows or even a sneaker. Get on top of it and pleasure yourself missionary style.

If you want something more legit and don’t have to explain to anyone why you have sex furniture, there is a mount that is specially made for the Fleshlight for the best hands-free experience made by Liberator.

It fits perfectly between your legs and once you’ve inserted yourself in, you can rest your elbows on the front and thrust away.

If this gets boring, you could spoon it and slide yourself in from the side.

It’s lightweight and covered with pleather, so that means it’s easy to clean up and it’s not a pain to move it to any room you want.

And since it’s hands-free, your hands and mouth are free if you are going to want to pleasure someone else while you’re pleasuring yourself. This is great for playing out a threesome fantasy with a partner.

Another option is to get a suction cup for the base of the Fleshlight. You could stick it on a smooth surface like glass or tiles and play with it while you’re in the shower.

There is also something called the Launchpad, which is essentially a base for your iPad and Fleshlight. It’s made of rubber so it’s easy to grip.

This is perfect if you’re watching POV videos for the extra realism or you’re just having good old fashioned Skype sex.

Some dudes take it to the next level by treating it as an attachment. I really get a kick out of seeing these guys’ subtle innovations

There are automatic milking machines that pump for you that could make it seem like you’re getting a blowjob or being ridden.

You could also make it so it’s spinning as you thrust in and out of it. Like I said before, if you can think it, you can make it happen.

So which one should I get?

Do you feel like you’re sold on this yet? Well, selecting your Fleshlight is a little more complicated that coming up with your coffee order.

However, it’s much more fun and a lot more rewarding.

First thing’s first, you have got to ask yourself a couple of simple questions.

What’s your size?

Knowing (and admitting) the size of your penis is very important when it comes to selecting sleeves. It’s also worth nothing whether your circumcised or not.

There would be no point in choosing a sleeve that varies all the way through if you’re not going to be able to reach it anyway.

Also, knowing your girth can save you a lot of discomfort. You don’t want anything too tight because some men report to have bruising after having tried sticking it in a Fleshlight that’s not the right size.

What do you like?

You could be a pussy, mouth or ass man. There are available options for all three. It doesn’t matter much because this doesn’t affect the build of the insert. You can definitely mix and match.

But it helps to keep the fantasy alive by pairing the outer part of the orifice with a sleeve that simulates that particular orifice.

Maybe you’d like lips for the added stimulation and a sleeve that mimics the throat texture.

How long do you last and would you like to improve?

I’m going to be real with you and confess that I struggled with premature ejaculation. After about ten pumps, I already feel like I’m going to blow.

But after using the Fleshlight for quite a while now, my stamina has improved significantly.

I’ve tried textures that are crazier than the usual ridges in an actual vaginal canal and have slowly but surely trained myself to last longer.

Honestly, the concept I’ve applied here is very similar to the one I apply when working out. After some time, you’ll find it easy to do multiple sets with a pair of weights. This is how you know you’re ready for some heavier ones.

Similarly, when I feel that a relatively simpler texture is getting easy for me, I just replace it with a different one that’s tighter, has more bumps and ridges.

It’s a challenge I never get tired of overcoming and my girlfriend has definitely benefited from this too.

Do you have any geeky fetishes or have a thing for a popular porn star?

Again, this all boils down to preference. It’s a nice extra bonus to be able to pick the opening of your Fleshlight, if you ask me.

This adds to its overall visual appeal. If you’ve ever had a fantasy with alien interspecies sex, there is a blue skin that is available. Star Wars fans rejoice. Now, you can bang the hot Twi’lek of your dreams.

They really considered what everyone might like. If you’re into more futuristic stuff, you could go for the cyborg pussy.

Fancy getting a blowjob from a vampire? There is a vampire mouth option available complete with fangs (they won’t hurt).

If that isn’t really your thing, you could choose from a number of porn stars from their Girls line. These Fleshlights are molded out of their orifices with their signature on the side for a more personal touch.

Choosing the right texture

Okay, you’re ready to join the more satisfied population of men on the planet. Good on you. I’ve done my research (as far as jobs go, mine rules) and I’ll give you the lowdown on all the textures available right now.

For the rookie

You don’t want to get too carried away and overreach when it comes to your first Fleshlight. You can just breeze through your Fleshlight journey. You want to enjoy it.

So it’s best to start off with something milder and more similar to the real thing. You can then level up from there once you get used to the feeling.

If you have more or less the average sized penis, here are the best choices for you.

The Mini Lotus

The mini lotus in uncomplicated and feels very much like the actual thing. This is a great beginner model because it’s the easiest feeling to get used to.

This is also the perfect choice if you’re a bit on the shorter side. There are four notches that are very close to the opening that feel incredibly lifelike.

The Kendra Sutherland Angel

You might be familiar with the hot, young, blonde bombshell, Kendra Sutherland. This is modeled after her pussy.

The sleeve, however, is a different story. I don’t know any woman who is built like that.

It might look a little crazy with all its different textures, but it really surprised me how realistic this one feels.

You’ll definitely feel the variety of ridges and twisted ribs in there, but it’s far from overwhelming and won’t make you cum as fast as you think.

The Teagan Presley Bulletproof

This sleeve looks innocuous enough, but it certainly doesn’t feel boring if you try it out. In my opinion, this simulates anal sex the best.

The Vortex

The name seems like it would be a challenge and looking at it doesn’t really scream “gentle,” but you’d be surprised.

This is very cleverly designed as it simulates being massaged in a twisting motion. Think very enthusiastic hand job, but with the softest hands ever.

For the purists

Maybe you’re a no-frills kind of guy and don’t want anything fancy or complicated. I certainly thought like this when I was just first starting out. Why complicate something as simple as masturbation?

I’ve long changed by mind since then, but it’s good to get back to the basic and see how ILF earned their fans from all over the world.

The Classic

While the more experienced users would probably say that this is the most lackluster out of all the products they offer, I think it’s worth knowing what the original feels like.

This is the one that created all the buzz in the first place.

It will get the job done and if you’re the type of guy who gets a little too excited just looking at the more complicated textures, this is the one you should get first.

FleshSkins

This one doesn’t come with a case and your hand will still be in control of the tightness when jacking off. Think of it as an upgraded version of masturbating the usual way.

It’s transparent, so if seeing your penis getting milked gets you off, that’s a plus. They also include a drying rack for cleanup.

For blowjob lovers

Sometimes, getting a blowjob feels better for me than actually having sex. I like the idea that the focus in entirely on me and I get to lay back and just enjoy the sensation.

But not all girls are dying to just go down on you, that’s a fact. And there’s nothing worse than a half-hearted blowjob.

Here are my favorite models that mimic that little piece of heaven.

The Turbo Ignition

Hats off to the folks over at ILF. They outdid themselves with this one. They even made the opening to feel like lips around your penis.

As you slide in the “throat,” there is some resistance and gets tighter, which actually mimics deepthroating. This is around time your girlfriend will start to gag if she’s even willing to do it.

The texture doesn’t even look remotely like an actual throat. Not even close. But man, it sure feels like the real thing.

You’re going to want to get this one if you want to know what it feels like to be sucked off by a master and one who doesn’t know how to say no and will swallow every single time.

The Launch

If you want to take it a step further and get a totally hands-free experience, get the Launch.

Powered by Kiroo, this one is a fully automated piece of genius innovation. I got a kick out of this one because it’s compatible with some VR porn clips that could be easily accessed on your favorite incognito websites.

Every movement of the hottest girls you see on the screen, you will feel. I had to train a long time to even last 5 minutes.

Additionally, you can manually program the strokes however way you want. You control how fast it is and how long you want the strokes to be.

This was dangerous for me. I never wanted to leave my room.

For the veterans

If you’re looking to improve your endurance or you just want the most mind-blowing orgasms ever, here are your options.

The Stamina Training Unit

This is perhaps the most redeeming out of all the Fleshlights if you’re going to have to explain yourself to a wife or girlfriend.

No woman is going to say no if your excuse is that you want to last longer in bed. I’ve got to applaud you for wanting to step your game up.

But if you have no one special in your life and just want to prolong and savor your masturbation sessions, this is a good for that reason too.

Simply put, this is the one that feels most like the vaginal canal. It’s very tight and can be quite the challenge for the one who get two pumps in and they’re done.

The technique to practicing how to hold off on cumming is to stop whenever you need to and go again. This is not very possible if you’re having sex with a partner.

Most women will egg you on and don’t want you to stop. With the STU, you can take your own sweet time. Trust me, the more you hold off, the more intense your orgasms get (as I’m sure you’ve figured out by yourself).

The Stoya Destroya

I love Stoya. She’s that dark-haired, snow white vixen with the smoldering eyes. She’s not exactly the girl-next-door, but more like the mysterious librarian who you just know has some tricks up her sleeve when it comes to the bedroom.

She is known for her hardcore and fetish scenes and has formed quite the sizable fan base.

Honestly, the name lives up to the sleeve itself. It is a destroyer. There is an amazing variety of protrusions and ridges that will tickle and squeeze the living daylight out of you.

This is not one for the faint-hearted.

The Jenna Haze Obsession

If tightness is your thing, this is your best bet. If you look at this texture, you can see that it has got a concentration of soft bristle-like nubs all throughout.

They are arranged at an optimal angle that offers the most resistance. You barely have to adjust the suction on this one because it will literally suck you in.

You can also see the it gets more intense as you push further in. If you can last more than 10 minutes with this one, I’d be thoroughly impressed.

This design was conceptualized with the least amount of BS. It will get the job done, guaranteed.

The Nikki Benz Reign

You’ve got to a bit bigger than average to fully enjoy this one. There are three chambers you can pump into that are divided by two very tight and narrow constrictions.

The first one is a simple crisscross. This opens into the next chamber where there are rectangular bumps and this leads into the first constriction. These two alone would make any guy blow, but of course, it doesn’t end there.

You get a ribbed texture that feels like anal sex and then it ends with the classic angled nubs. If you’re longer than 7 inches, beyond these nubs, it just gets tighter.

This is the one that I haven’t quite gotten over and still go back to every once in a while. If you like a challenge, then this one is for you.

The Adriana Chechik Next Level

This one is a doozy. I mean it just looks insane. The main chamber is just loaded with these tiny bumps. Although it’s not the tightest, once you get passed that about 1.4 inches in, then you’ll feel the constriction.

The last chamber is where it’s at. Again, 7-inchers or more are the only ones who can get to this part, so it’s very important to match the right textures with you penis size to get the best results.

This chamber is unique and houses two long strips along the walls of the sleeve. Both of them have bumps that you’ll feel from all sides of your penis.

I’ve got to say that this is a strong finish.

One of the upsides of this texture is that it’s very easy to clean unlike most of the more intense sleeves. It actually has a lot of space and is quicker to air dry.

The Dominika Butterfly

Dominika C is up there when it when it comes to my all-time favorite porn stars list. Modeled after her beautiful pussy, this sleeve’s opening is not very difficult.

Especially if you’re particularly endowed girth-wise, the first chamber is a walk in the park.

But the second chamber is where it gets intense and it’s a challenge from there on. It’s very narrow and the walls have been packed very tightly with soft nubs.

The last chamber is why this texture stands out for me. It looks like a bunch of stacked rectangular bumps. Even without pumping so much, the stimulation from these bumps against the head of your penis is sure to drive you wild.

What I like about this texture, apart from the distinct last chamber, is that it doesn’t look that intimidating. It looks like it was designed with a lot of thought and it gives the user the right stimulation on the right spots.

The Vibro

Who says vibrators are only for women?

The Vibro comes with what they call “bullets” which you put batteries into and insert in the sleeve. These create the most amazing vibrations to surely make you go overboard with pleasure.

If the other models are just not cutting it for you, then this one is surely worth the try.

For those who like to see all the action

I’m not sure why I’ve developed a liking for seeing my penis slide in and out of a Fleshlight and at this point, I don’t really care to know.

I’m just glad they included this option for us who are a little freakier.

The Fleshlight ICE

The ICE comes with three different openings called Lady, Butt and Pure. The Lady and Butt are pretty self-explanatory, but the Pure is just a hole. It’s perfect for the minimalist.

According to most reviews, this is the most highly-rated one. Its main selling point is that it’s see-through, so you get the visual stimulation of watching yourself penetrate the device.

This is also built to accommodate even the bigger penises as it’s about 10 inches long. It’s big and definitely not discrete. The case can also house any sleeve you want, so you can replace it any time you want. The sleeve is very soft like a firmer Jell-O.

The best thing about the ICE is the suction. Gentlemen, this feels like being sucked off by lady with a vengeance.

I can’t really compare the texture of the ICE to anything else. It doesn’t feel like vaginal, anal or oral sex. It is truly exceptional and I can see why everyone is raving about it.

For the traveler

Most of these Fleshlights, even though innocent-looking enough, can be quite bulky and not exactly luggage-friendly.

And like any other sane person, you would want to avoid being held up by the TSA because they just needed to check out this “suspicious” item.

The Quickshot

As the name implies, this is perfect for when you want to just stroke one out and pass out on your hotel bed. It’s tiny and can easily fit in a bigger toiletries case and it’s very low-key. No one would even bat an eye.

This not only comes in handy if you travel a lot. This could also be good if you are living with roommates or you have a girlfriend who doesn’t like the idea of you jacking off with a toy.

Since it’s significantly smaller than a normal Fleshlight, it’s the easiest to clean too.

The Fleshlight Go Surge

The Fleshlight Go series is a line of Fleshlights designed to be smaller and, might I add, a little sleeker.

Since it’s more compact, you’ll also have the added bonus of having your junk look larger (if that matters to you).

If you want something easier to carry around and don’t want to compromise on sensation, go with the Surge option.

Last minute tips and my final word

If you’re still having trouble picking the right one, you could easily just customize your very own Fleshlight. You can have options with every step from the case, the orifice and the sleeve.

I hope I’ve convinced you that this is something that you should own if you want to explore news ways to pleasure yourself.

There are very few things we can constantly enjoy in life, so we might as well make the best of it and get the right tools.

Hi! I’m Rick. I’ve been masturbating for…well…as long as I can remember, and I’ve had strong opinions about how I do it the whole time. I love sex, but I also love getting value for money. I’ve been writing product reviews for 12 years now, and I’m here to help you find products that really suit you. In my spare time I love hiking, cooking, and building websites.

Prostate Massagers: Everything You Need To Know [UPDATED NOV 2018]

P-Spot 101

The prostate is a sensitive – and rarely discussed – area. Many men express trepidation about prostate play or finding their P-spot. We’re here to help!

The anus is a sensitive area; it has thousands upon thousands of sensory nerve endings.  We tend to enjoy sexual experiences more when they focus on our bodies erogenous, sensitive areas, and for that reason, anal play is becoming very popular.

In contemporary Western culture, the anus is taboo for men. It’s seen as off-limits, something to be avoided in heterosexuality, and something transgressive otherwise.

That shouldn’t be the case!

Men should be free to stimulate their erogenous areas.

As you will see in this article, there are both pleasure and health-related reasons for stimulating the prostate, and in order to do so, you’re going to need to know about the best prostate massagers on the market.

So lube up, and let’s get started!

Rectum and anuses are part of the genitals, hence stimulation of the anus will refer stimulation to other areas as well.

The prostate gland (or the much-mythologized “P-spot”, is the key to prostate pleasure. Figuring out what’s going on down there will help you crack the code, and lead to extremely pleasurable experiences.

You need to explore every inch of your body to understand what triggers the ultimate pleasure for you.

You (and your partner, if you have one) need to understand each other’s needs and wants in bed and then slowly start exploring and satisfying those needs, and the prostate is just as important as any other body part in that.

If you are open to experimentation and are a little adventurous, there are endless ways one can get prostate pleasure, whether you’re alone with your massager or with a partner!

What is the prostate gland?

The prostate hangs out at the base of the penis, under the bladder between the urethra and rectum – it’s a small, walnut-sized, sensory gland. 

The primary function of this gland is to store seminal fluid, and muscles around it contract and relax in ejaculation.

Basically, it’s a very important sex organ, that we don’t talk or think about enough.

Stimulation of the outside (the “taint”) between testicles and anus directly stimulates the prostate.

Many people call the prostate gland the ‘P’ spot (or male ‘G’ spot).

This is analogous to the women’s ‘G’ spot, the specific place inside the vagina where women can find intense pleasure.

Whether or not you directly stimulate the prostate, it’s involved in normal ejaculation. So bringing your attention and energy towards it can really energize your ejaculations and make you come more strongly and powerfully than ever.

Some men can reach orgasm through prostate stimulation alone. Moreover, men who engage in prostate massage or anal sex report that their orgasms are stronger and more intense,  and last longer when compared to their normal, boring, penile-only orgasms.

This makes sense! Women’s clitorises have thousands of nerve endings, and us men need to get to the prostate in order to access our own dense nerve ending bundle.

Excitingly, you can have prostate orgasms without ejaculating, so you can finally have multiple orgasms without that pesky refractory period. Imagine being able to have orgasm after orgasm, waves of pleasure pulsing through your body, all at the tip of your fingers. You have full control, and you can do whatever you want.

It’s a dream.

Why should one massage the prostate?

Let’s keep it simple: prostate orgasms feels incredibly good.

Thousands of men have vouched that these orgasms are vastly satisfying than “regular” penile orgasms.

Secondly, there are also health benefits.

If you’re anything like me, you live a pretty sedentary lifestyle. Between sitting at work, sitting in the car, sitting on public transit, and sitting at your computer, there’s a LOT of sitting in a normal day.

As you sit for a long time, pockets of the prostate calcify and harden.  These calcifications lead to inflammation, otherwise known as prostatitis.

The best way to eliminate these build-ups and oxygenate is through massaging the prostate. The fact that it feels amazing is a pretty nice bonus.

Here’s what you can do to maintain good prostate health:

Regularly massage or milk the prostate. Milking the prostate at least once a month helps in reducing the occurrence of prostate cancer.

  • Make sure you have more than 10 orgasms each month. This will have numerous health benefits: it increases your serotonin level, which in turn increases your lymphocytes (white blood cells), and reduces stress, which helps in boosting immunity.
  • Increase your intake of anti-inflammatory spices and herbs like oregano, ginger, green tea and rosemary.

Massaging the prostate is the best thing you can do for maintaining prostate health.

I was initially reluctant to include prostate play in my sexual practice, but by going slow and working my way in, I was able to come like never before. It’s been a literal life changer.

Get Your Massage On

Begin your prostate massage session with relaxation.

This is extremely important, especially if this kind of stimulation is new for you.

Take a series of deep belly breaths. Hold them in for 10 seconds, then breathe out while counting to 10. This will help you relax the pelvic muscles, which will allow for more comfortable stimulation.

Don’t skip this step – it’s as important as any other one.

  Next, clean the area around your anus thoroughly.

After this, you need to be ready for two things: anal play and masturbation.

You’re going to need a lot of lubricant, gloves, and your prostate toy of choice.

Silicone lubricant is usually preferred for anal play. 

Your prostate swells when you’re aroused, so you’ll find that helpful to locate it.

Here’s what you do to get started:

  • Get an erection and keep stroking the penis until your arousal level is around 6 out of 10  – where 10 is an orgasm.
  • Next, apply some lube around the anus using your finger.
  • Slowly insert your finger to the first knuckle and then start masturbating again. Pull out the finger and re-apply more lubricant.
  • Keep on masturbating and place the finger back inside, up to the second knuckle. Continue the entire process until you can get the third knuckle inside easily.
  • Remember to keep relaxing and breathing deeply.
  • Insert your finger deeply, and feel for a rough little lump about 3 inches inside the rectum, pointed up towards the penis root. Congratulations, you’ve found your prostate!   
  • Now know where the prostate gland is, you could use a prostate-specific sex toy to stimulate yourself.
  • You’re going to need 25-30 minutes in order to do this process properly, so many sure to give yourself enough time to relax and really get into it.

Products available to satisfy your needs

Once you find your prostate and get a sense of what’s going on, you’re going to need a prostate toy.

Here, I’ve reviewed a few of my favorites, ranging from inexpensive to high-end, and I’ve recommended one that I think that everyone should have.

Read on to get to prostate heaven!

LELO Loki Vibrating Prostate Massager

LELO’s Loki is a super-powerful, luxury vibrating prostate massager. It’s a premium model designed for those who want the best of stimulation machines. It’s my #1 recommended toy, and I think everyone would be happy with it. It’ll help you find your P-spot like never before.

It has the most 5-star reviews of any prostate massager on Amazon and I personally love using it. It’s a great all-round choice.

Its elegant curves, along with uncompromising power and satisfying thickness, will give you unbelievably powerful orgasms. It’s definitely an investment worth making – you only need to buy it once, and you can come over and over again!

Features

  • The massager comes with 6 different vibration patterns which are ideal for exploring new feelings and sensation. The vibration types range between normal continuous vibes and “wave and pulse” modes,  and it can be easily controlled through an interface on the base. This feature is KEY – you’ll definitely be able to find a vibration frequency that suits your desires.
  • This massager is 100% water-resistant and can be used in the shower or bath. Many men find that they’re able to relax more in the shower, and the hot water of the bath helps you relax your pelvic floor muscles, leading to easier and more pleasurable anal sensations.
  • USB-rechargeable. Just plug it into your laptop and take it wherever you need to go.
  • It offers a 1-year manufacturer’s warranty
  • It is made of smooth, silky silicone, so it feels great on your skin. If you apply water-based moisturizer it glides very easily.
  • The tip of the massager is thick, and it narrows down to the neck for a sensuous, comfortable, and natural feeling. The shape of the base is designed in such a way that it allows for additional external stimulation while offering extra stability.

Nexus Revo 2 Rotating Prostate Massager (Rechargeable)

Nexus have been making prostate massagers for a LONG time.

They’re well known as a leading manufacturer, and they’re very reputable.

The Revo 2 is a completely unique product, redesigned from the ground up.

Features

It offers dual stimulation with a two-speed rotating shaft and a 3-level perineum vibrator. Its vibrations can be VERY powerful, so be careful if you’re new to prostate pleasure

It is made of hypoallergenic silicone with an easy to handle plastic base

It is fully rechargeable and has a unique pad with magnetic charging and can be connected to any USB-compatible device

The Revo 2 massager is water resistant and can be cleaned easily, but unlike the LELO Loki, this one cannot be submerged in water.

  • It should be used with the water-based lubricants only.

Aneros MGX Prostate Gland Stimulator

This is a great massager for beginners. Aneros came up with a patented design, which works well for men who have minimal experience or need help relaxing their pelvic floor.

It’s a great toy for all those men out there who wish to experience prostate stimulation for the first time.

This device works in a harmony with the regular movement of the body and stimulates both the perineum and prostate in rhythmic motion which builds up to an unprecedented orgasm.

With this one, you have to be careful to keep breathing deeply. The pelvic floor moves up and down with your in and out breath, and the Aneros massager will move in conjunction with that activity. So if you’re tight, it’s going to create even more tension, which can be both painful and a serious buzzkill.

Features

  • It is good for both experienced and beginner prostate players
  • Easy to use
  • This device is well balanced and has a ribbed stem for stimulating anal canal
  • Perineum tab helps with external massage

The Aneros’ fusion of ancient eroticism and modern engineering will enhance sexual pleasure. It is one of the best addition to one’s sex life for own use or to use it along with loved ones.

While I don’t always use this toy, I definitely have one in my collection, and I come back to it all the time. It’s a great choice for when you don’t want a vibrating toy.

Tantus Prostate Vibrating Silicone 4.5-inch Butt Plug

This prostate vibrator from Tantus is a great. The diameter is 1 inch and 4.5 inches long.

Features

  • This health vibrator comes with a flexible shaft which bends easily with the curves of your body.
  • The vibration along with the bulbous end massages the prostate gland, and helps you learn to relax those tight muscles surrounding the glands, which reduces the risk of prostatitis.
  • It is made of 100% medical grade silicone, so it can be bleached or boiled and is dishwasher safe.
  • It has an ergonomic base, which assists you to hold it comfortably with your thumb.
  • Non-porous, so it won’t harbor dangerous pathogens.

L’Amourose Rosa Rouge

I love this massager too. It has a special thermal regulation system, which both creates more pleasure and helps you relax your muscles, creating a positive feedback loop of pleasure.

Features

  • This device has a very versatile motion with technology known as “flex and shift”. This helps the device to adjust to your specific body type, giving you ultimate comfort.
  • It provides dual stimulation. The two adjustable motors that stimulate externally and internally.
  • The thermal regulation system keeps the temperature between 40 to 42 degree Celsius.
  • The diamond cut shape of the device offers supreme ease and comfort
  • Easy to charge, with a  charging dock.
  • It offers a lifetime quality guarantee and 18-month warranty.
  • Made of FDA-approved PC ABS/Silicone.
  • Comes with 9 vibrator mode, and 12 types of temperature regulation.
  • It has a seamless design so it’s easy-to-clean and also waterproof.
  • You get 3 hours of medium speed use from 2 hours of charging, and seven minutes when used on full speed with the heat function is engaged. Trust me, you won’t need more than that at high speed!
  • The device comes along with hands-free charging dock, luxury gift box, user manual, velvet carrying pouch, and authenticity card.

HE21602 Nexus-G-play

This product is great for beginners who are curious to explore the delights and pleasure of anal adventures. It’s a more simple model, but it has everything you need for prostate play. If you’re just getting into P-spot pleasure, this is definitely a great one to start with.

Features

  • Three different sizes – choose the one you want.
  • It is made of HQ silicone
  • The shafts are ergonomically designed for steady and strong vibration.
  • AAA battery and one vibration setting.
  • Even though the medical grade silicones are used, it can be used along with only water-based lubricants.

8-inch waterproof multi-speed massager for men – Neon Luv Touch

With this product, you could ensure that you get the perfect touch of sensation with its incredible vibe.

Features

  • The Neon Luv Touch has a slender look and comes in six different colors- orange, yellow, pink, green, blue and purple. 
  • The ergonomically curved tip helps in giving amazing stimulation, and multiple speeds just add to the pleasure.
  • Very water resistant – use it in the spa, shower, or wherever you like
  • You should use lots of lubricant for extra wild, extra wet encounter.
  • You need to clean this device after the use with warm water and toy cleaner.
  • The battery required for this device is 2 AAA and it’s not included along with the device. Whenever you are done using the device you should remove the batteries from it.
  • The lubricant recommended for this device is water based.
  • Materials used for making this are ABS plastic with Polyurethane PU Cote.

Prostate massages used for relieving back pain

The prostate vibrator is now known for its ability to offer multiple or trigger intense orgasms.  The makers of these products are gradually convincing men to leave their inhibitions about anal sex and explore the new arena of pleasure. Now the manufacturers of prostate massager’s claim that this medically patented device got the potential to relieve back pain.

The walnut-shaped prostate organ which lies between the anus and penis which secrets fluid for ejaculation can actually affect the men’s back.  When there is inflammation due to the build-up of fluid, it tweaks the surrounding muscle which causes pains and aches throughout the groin and runs upwards to the lower back. Also, it creates painful ejaculation or urination.

Pain while ejaculating- Sex could be pleasurable and fun at any time but sometimes it won’t be. The main reason for this is if a person is suffering from the case of painful ejaculation.  The massagers’ help in solving the blockage caused in duct due to fluid buildup. These blockages are the main reason for causing the uncomfortable feel while ejaculating. If you use these massagers, it not only relieves the fluid buildup but also it lifts up the excitement level in having sex.  The pain will cease after using the device for some time.  But you could still use the massager continuously just to experience a new level of ecstasy.

Urination- People who are suffering from prostate problems will face difficulty in passing urine. This condition will definitely improve if you use the prostate massager. Also, it helps in keeping a check so that the prostate problem does not worsen.   Once you start enjoying the pleasure this massager gives, it would be hard to stop it too. You can continue using it to lead a healthy lifestyle and discover more pleasure these devices have to offer.

Sitting for too long at work and various other modern lifestyles cause this fluid build-up.  Also, medical practitioner’s claims that the inflammation can be caused because of illness or if there had been any kind of direct injury to the prostate.  Most of the men who suffer from prostatitis too suffer from chronic back pain.

Prostate massagers were used for prostatitis treatment from the beginning of the 20th century.  The idea behind this was that if you manually broke up secretions that are built up in prostate then it would release some pressure.  Of course, while it helps in relieving the back pain at the same it can offer the orgasm that you have never ever imagined. The prostate massagers’ available in the market come in different varieties. You have the freedom to choose the one which suits your need.  Below mentioned are few of the variants available.

Different variants available

Massage modes- The prostate massager comes with different variants of massage modes. You could try out each mode and check to find the one gives you extreme pleasure. The different modes help in giving a different sensation and you can keep changing the different modes to give you a new experience each time.

Vibrating motors- The vibrating mode of the massagers gives you great stimulation when compared to the normal device. More sensation and ecstasy can be experienced when the massager got vibration features.

Re-chargeable options- These massagers mostly come with rechargeable options which let you fulfill all your desires whenever you want. You could carry it along with you wherever you travel and could be used as and when pleased.

High-speed vibrations- In order to satisfy all the needs of men and to take you to new heights, different speed options in massagers are available.  Men who want to experience extreme pleasure can opt for high speed which gives you an intense and powerful orgasm.

Tips to keep in mind while using the massager

But you need to take care while using the massagers. You should ensure that it is cleaned thoroughly after every use. Even your body and hands should be cleaned well once you are done with using the massager.  It helps in preventing the spreading of any kind of disease. Also, one should take proper rest and follow healthily diet to take care of the problem related to the prostate gland.  Ensure that the device is charged properly after every usage so that whenever you use it next time, the device does not get switched off when you are at the pleasure peak.  While you travel, always keep the device switched off as you don’t want it to get switched on while you are on transit. Always remember to keep the battery out of the device when it’s not in use.

Each individual has their own desires and ways of achieving pleasure. Understanding your needs is the first step to discover sexual pleasure. Before you pick the massager for you, understand what your body needs and do proper research on all the massagers available in the market. Read through the reviews carefully; take part in the discussion forum to widen your knowledge about these devices and how to use the device rightly to feel ultimate pleasure.

Hi! I’m Rick. I’ve been masturbating for…well…as long as I can remember, and I’ve had strong opinions about how I do it the whole time. I love sex, but I also love getting value for money. I’ve been writing product reviews for 12 years now, and I’m here to help you find products that really suit you. In my spare time I love hiking, cooking, and building websites.

Ultimate Guide To Bondage Rope [UPDATED 2018]

Get Tied Up

Starting with ropes

You might have seen these amazing Japanese knots –  or it just that your boyfriend’s allergic to metal, and you have to use hump ropes to tie him down?

Following years of experience as a rope master in Wisconsin’s BDSM scene, I’m here to share some of my wisdom, and help you with your first BDSM rope ties.

What kind of rope do you need?

In general, good quality rope can be costly – but this is one of those things where you don’t want to go cheap.

Looking around at your local hardware store, you will find that there are some sturdy options that won’t break the bank.

First, start off with a little rather than a lot.

It’s better to have to reorder more rope because you like it than to be stuck with a bunch of rope you don’t want to use.

Most beginners don’t know if rope is something they’ll like, so they go to the hardware store and buy a pack or two of cotton or nylon rope.

This rope is good for a beginner, but long term a rigger will want to upgrade their kit.

For one, it has no grip, so many of the twists and turns that are made while tying slip and move around.

This rope holds knots well –  but a little too well.

Cotton and nylon tend to compress and the knots tighten rather than allowing the rigger (ie. the person tying the ropes) to put the correct tension on.

The best place to buy rope is from a vendor on the web. The important thing is to find one with a good reputation that people recommend.

I like to have rope in both 6mm and 8mm thickness.

It just depends on what ties you use or who your subject is.

Different Ropes For Different Folks

I think 6mm looks less than ideal in most ties – but a lot of people on Fetlife use it for pretty photos when tying very small rope bottoms.

Make sure you have various lengths on hand too (just make sure you know it… you never cut a rope unless it is an emergency situation).

I don’t really like joining two sections and rope that is too long can be cumbersome.

Too short and you can’t complete the tie or will have to join rope.

The perfect lengths also depend on the rope bottom as well.

Obviously bigger bottoms will require longer ropes.

Choosing rope is a very personal decision so it’s important that you think about your needs and wants and choose appropriately as your rope will become the tool of your trade.

Once you’ve found the rope you want to use you will be anxious to wrap it around someone.

But first you need to become familiar with the rope and how to use it safely (next writing on this) and effectively. But right now we will focus on becoming familiar with the history.

Lets geek out on some history

Most rope bondage done in kink today is Japanese in origin. You might have heard the terms Shibari or Kinbaku, but for me those are too much.

In my mind the bondage we do in the West is more plain and simple then those fine arts.

Here’s a good story.

During the feudal Edo era in Japanese history, samurai used rope in combat and to restrain prisoners of war with a brutal art called hojojutsu that has nothing to do with the fun-loving-erotic thing we enjoy today.

At the time, official laws used knots to torture and extort confessions from captives, and to display alleged criminals to the public.

Public punishment specifically fit the crime, so the tie used to administer it created a legible, symbolic admonition for crowds of onlookers.

The samurai (being both honorable and practical) tied their captives as restrictively, but also as ornately as possible.

The more ornate and complicated the tie, the more respect was shown, so they got VERY complicated.

Safety, Safety, Safety

Safety is not sexy, but neither are accidents.

Rope bondage can be a dangerous activity.

Neither the human body nor ropes are completely predictable and as such, the combination of the two comes with certain inherent risks that are never completely avoidable.

You don’t want your bottom to get hurt – even a tiny bit – and you especially don’t want to put their life at risk!

What may be entirely safe with one person may cause injury in someone else, and in no way do I suggest that bondage will be safe even if you follow all the guidelines set forth in this article.

Rules To Live By

Don’t do it if you’re not sure what you are doing.

Know what you are doing and don’t go too fast.

Train on everything before you do it for real.

Going step by step is slow and boring but it is a real necessity.
Make sure you always have scissors, knife, EMT shears, or something similar on hand.

Don’t wait for the leg to become blue or your subject to faint. If you’re in doubt, cut the rope.

Know what you know and don’t try to do more.

It is probably a bad idea to some amazing pictures and think that you can do the same.

Practice Makes Perfect

Do the groundwork first.

Remember the finger rule – any tie should be loose enough you can slip a finger between the rope and skin.

Talk to your bottom. Make sure you know about any medical issues, fears, etc.
Know your ropes, your hooks, your round steel rings and your D rings.

Make sure they are all maintained and in good condition.
Don’t make quick decisions.

Plan it all in advance.

True, it is not sexy but it is a must.
Your bottom is the main attraction.

Talk to him/her.

Make sure to warn her/him before you are doing anything special, anything that will require him to do some effort.

If he/she said that something is wrong then something is wrong.

Stop and check.

In Conclusion

You are responsible for your own actions so use your head and when necessary, get medical advice.

I started writing stories when I was seventeen years old. Started with short stories and as I grew up understood that erotic romance authors are having way too much fun, and after writing my first erotic piece, I was hooked.

I write about the more kinky-sexy stuff and find myself attracted to anything unusual and strange. Happily for me (and for my readers) my life partner completely supports the sexy lifestyles I write about which allows us both to experience more and more adult oriented adventures which in return fuel my writing. I currently publish most of my stuff at Lust Moments.

I live outside of Wisconsin and like travel, reading, and eating good-bloody meat. I love hearing from my readers.